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an article about Online Shopping

an article about Online Shopping VBV1O
Do you think that there's a better way to shop? Many people nowadays have switched to Online Shopping to satisfy their shopping needs resulting in dramatic changes in their lives. Online shopping is the fastest and most convenient way to shop. Let us consider the wealth and variety of products found online. As an avid reader, I've always purchased books at my favourite bookshop down the street from my school. However, the store has a limited number of genres I can explore. Also, when a famous book gets released, I have to wait in line to get a hold of it. But when I started shopping for books online, I was amazed at the wide variety of genres I can choose. I bought a book online for 5 dollars which cost 15 dollars at the bookshop. That is a 30% discount at checkout. What great savings! But not only that, I saved money from buying clothes too, as there are tons of deals, every time. I can also accumulate points and use coupons to get more special deal. Although, you have to keep in mind that some clothes may not fit well because you can't try them on before purchasing. I highly recommend you check your measurements first and compare them to the suggested sizes online. Moreover, instead of going to the Supermarket to buy groceries, I can order daily produce on the Farmers Market website and in a few hours, the products are on your doorstep. Talk about saving tons of time from lining up and checking out at the cashier. However, it may not be ideal, but be wary of the quality of meat and vegetables you purchase, as they may no longer be fresh. All in all, Online Shopping offers a vast amount of readily available products. Despite all of the great benefits of online shopping, we must remember that it has its pitfalls. As a well-informed consumer, we need to be mindful and choose which platform for shopping suits us best.
Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there's a better way to shop?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays have switched to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
to satisfy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
needs resulting in dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is the fastest and most convenient way to shop.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us consider the wealth and variety of products found online.

As an avid reader, I've always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
at my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
bookshop down the street from my school.
However
, the store has a limited number of genres I can explore.
Also
, when a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
released, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait in line to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a hold of it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, I
was amazed
at the wide variety of genres I can choose. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
for 5 dollars which cost 15 dollars at the bookshop.
That is
a 30% discount at checkout. What great savings!

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, I saved money from buying clothes too, as there are tons of deals, every time. I can
also
accumulate points and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
coupons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more special deal. Although, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
clothes may not fit well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can't try them on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing. I
highly
recommend you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
your measurements
first
and compare them to the suggested sizes online.

Moreover
,
instead
of going to the Supermarket to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
groceries, I can order daily produce on the Farmers Market website and in a few hours, the products are on your doorstep. Talk about saving tons of time from lining up and checking out at the cashier.
However
, it may not be ideal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
be wary of the quality of meat and vegetables you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
, as they may no longer be fresh.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
offers a vast amount of
readily
available products. Despite
Consider using "all the".
all of the
great benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remember that it has its pitfalls. As a well-informed consumer, we need to be mindful and choose which platform for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
suits us best.
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IELTS essay an article about Online Shopping

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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