Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People find their lives more and more dominated by their job? What extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

People find their lives more and more dominated by their job? What extent 15RML
Currently, more than half of the world population is indulge in service sector. Masses are defining their survival based upon their employment. This essay will argue that the fact of elevating in competition provokes crowd to control their lives by their profession, will discuss in further paragraph. Maximum people in today’s situation depend upon their job to construct an earning for paying bills and fulfill basic necessity of the life so work can become a dominating factor. As numbers of people are working hard in routine life to not only accomplish their standard of living but also to brighten their future generation by satisfying the needs through savings. However, globally inflation is proliferating in the light of this, prices of basic commodities is also increasing by which middle and lower income group are facing major problems. Hence, masses have to influence their existing by their work to compensating bills. Despite of dominating on employment, crowd should more focus on their accountability. By acquiring the responsibility of the work by keeping aside the income, individual can obtain various rewards; beside, generate the life to invest in occupation that you prefer. One shall not excessive emphasis on employment for salary; in contrast, they should highly concentrate on roles and performance in person profession to earn revenue. Therefore, masses also contribute towards their accountability rather than more influenced towards occupation. To conclude, I averagely agreeing with this statement that people finds their lives additionally controlled by their job. Individual should also motivate to work for the excellence, salary will automatically follows you.
Currently
, more than half of the world population is
Consider using a past participle here: "indulged".
indulge
in service sector. Masses are defining their survival based upon their employment. This essay will argue that the fact of elevating in competition provokes crowd to control their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by their profession, will discuss in
further
paragraph.

Maximum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s situation depend upon their job to construct an earning for paying bills and fulfill basic necessity of the life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can become a dominating factor. As numbers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in routine life to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accomplish their standard of living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to brighten their future generation by satisfying the needs through savings.
However
, globally inflation is proliferating in the light of this, prices of basic commodities is
also
increasing by which middle and lower income group are facing major problems.
Hence
, masses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
influence their existing by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to compensating bills.

Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
dominating on employment, crowd should more focus on their accountability. By acquiring the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by keeping aside the income, individual can obtain various rewards; beside, generate the life to invest in occupation that you prefer. One
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
shall not excessive
emphasis on employment for salary;
in contrast
, they should
highly
concentrate on roles and performance in person profession to earn revenue.
Therefore
, masses
also
contribute towards their accountability
rather
than more influenced towards occupation.

To conclude
, I
averagely
agreeing with this statement that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
finds
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
additionally
controlled by their job. Individual should
also
motivate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the excellence, salary will
automatically
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "follow"
follows
you.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay People find their lives more and more dominated by their job? What extent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    women in the army and polices jobs.
    Some people reckon that women have to work with men in the police and armed forces, Whereas others people believe that women are not appropriate for such jobs. I will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs and I personally believe that the latter view. On the one hand, there are many reasons ...
  • 6band
    Some people think that the main purpose of school and university education should be to prepare people for work. Others, however, think that the true role of education is to make us better citizens.
    Many people often judge that education whether school or university courses are designed for student’s future careers. However, there is opposite argument that education systems plas as the tools for improve their citizens. There are many convincing reasons why training young people should be a high...
  • 6band
    The illustration shows the steps of the production of electric energy via the flow of water through the power generator.
    The illustration shows the steps of the production of electric energy via the flow of water through the power generator. The process is fundamentally the course of water from one reservoir to another which produces electricity along the way and eventually sending to the national grid. Initially, th...
  • 5.5band
    weather monitoring system
    In thispaper, we have designed, developed, and tested an economical weather monitoring system using raspberry pi, which monitors the weather of a particulararea, including wind speed, wind direction, air temperature, humidity, atmospheric pressure, rain, and solar radiation. The Datais sent via a Wi...
  • 5.5band
    should a person do one job or change jobs.
    Some people think that people should changes jobs often, while others reckon that people to stick to one job for life. I will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs. I believe that the latter view. On the one hand, those who believe that changing jobs every few years, give their reasons as fo...
  • 6band
    Talk about languages both views
    Vsbsmmsbsznzmslaliahebejkebdbdkdnndndndnndkdkkdnsnbsbhfuuch, xyzclvxuvovifivovivicicuxuvlvjdkvkcjvkcvkckckccmckvkvjjvkcysydkcyajgkdjchxjcucjsuvjckcuocoxockchkzkxiyxixhnxuzulayksifulacilxulsukckxilsulzidsulxudulsudxulxuldiyxulxxilxcixilxlixildsuofiltauldiyyyddiysljvkhxccjkhsyidloyittsuydkhcousljcoydo...