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women in the army and polices jobs.

women in the army and polices jobs. kYodd
Some people reckon that women have to work with men in the police and armed forces, Whereas others people believe that women are not appropriate for such jobs. I will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs and I personally believe that the latter view. On the one hand, there are many reasons why people support the equal participation of women in the armed forces. The prominent reason is that women should have the same right as men to choose their profession because nowadays there are no gender differences and women are also part of our country and also give same importance as men. Secondly, women are also more graduated as compared to men because they know very well the importance of education so it is not good when women are educated and they do work only in homes such as housewife. On the other hand, those who think that women are not suitable for police and army jobs give their reasons as follows. The main reason is that such jobs are required to physically fit but women lack such physical characteristics so they are not suited for such jobs. Another reason is that such jobs asked work for a long time but women would not be able because they also have the duty of looking after the home and children. I believe that women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs because some time offenders are not a good way to talk for the lady police then that time lady police do not control emotions and they feel weak in front of the lawbreakers so it is not good for our country as well as police service. To conclude, it can be seen that gender difference is disappearing but such kinds of jobs are not good for women.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work with
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men
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
and armed forces, Whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not appropriate for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. I will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs and I
personally
believe that the latter view. On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the equal participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the armed forces. The prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should have the same right as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to choose their profession
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays there are no gender differences and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
also
part of our country and
also
give same importance as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Secondly
,
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women
are
also
more graduated as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well the importance of education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not
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good
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
educated and
they do work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in homes such as housewife.
On the other hand
, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
and army
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
as follows. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are required
to
physically
fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
lack such physical characteristics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are not suited for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
asked work for a long time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
would not be able
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
also
have the duty of looking after the home and children. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not suitable for these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time offenders are not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way to talk for the lady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
then that time lady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
do not control
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
emotions and
they feel weak in front of the lawbreakers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for our country
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
service.
To conclude
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that gender difference is disappearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
such kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
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IELTS essay women in the army and polices jobs.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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