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Write a letter to your friend and recommend a good place for a holiday that you have visited before. Say where you went, where you stayed, what you can do there and what the food was like. v.1

Write a letter to your friend and recommend a good place for a holiday that you have visited before. Say where you went, where you stayed, what you can do there and what the food was like. v. 1
In this modern world, many people are reckoned to think that watching movies on mobile and tablets is better than going to the cinema, while some differ with this. After pondering over this phenomenon, I deem to agree with those who think this approach is acceptable. In this essay, I will discuss both views and share my opinion along with the relevant examples. Firstly, the sole reason of watching movies in a theatre is to have fun and spend some time with friends and family. If people watched movies only on their devices, they would miss out going out and socialising with people. Secondly, the grade of movies in such places is far better than any other electrical appliance available, as they have an excellent quality of projectors and high density screens and speakers, which enriches the whole experience. For instance, there is no mobile phone yet in the market that supports 4k and Blu-ray resolution display. On the other hand, watching movies in personal devices has its own benefits. One of the major advantages is cost-effectiveness, as it is quite commonly seen that the theatres charge a lot of money for the comfortable seats, which you can easily save on by watching the same on your couch at home. Moreover, people these days have fixed timing jobs, which rarely allows them to take out time for visiting malls or some other leisure activities, hence watching their favourite movie at home, may reduce some boredom. In conclusion, although, watching movies with friends and family in the good ambiance of theatre can be a joyful experience, in my opinion, it is important to consider the financial and time convenience of watching the same in mobile.
In this modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on mobile and tablets is better than going to the cinema, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differ with this. After pondering over this phenomenon, I deem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this approach is acceptable. In this essay, I will discuss both views and share my opinion along with the relevant examples.

Firstly
, the sole reason of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is to have fun and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time with friends and family. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on their devices, they would miss
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
out going out
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
, the grade of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in such places is far better than any other electrical appliance available, as they have an excellent quality of projectors and high density screens and speakers, which enriches the whole experience.
For instance
, there is no mobile phone
yet
in the market that supports 4k and Blu-ray resolution display.

On the other hand
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in personal devices has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits. One of the major advantages
is cost
-effectiveness, as it is quite
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
charge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for the comfortable seats, which you can
easily
save on by watching the same on your couch at home.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
timing jobs, which rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to take out time for visiting malls or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other leisure activities,
hence
watching their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
at home, may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
boredom.

In conclusion
, although, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
with friends and family in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ambiance of
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
can be a joyful experience, in my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the financial and time convenience of watching the same in mobile.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Write a letter to your friend and recommend a good place for a holiday that you have visited before. Say where you went, where you stayed, what you can do there and what the food was like. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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