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Some people think that real life skills like cooking, housekeeping and gardening should be included in the curriculum as compulsory subjects? Do you agree or disagree? Explain your opinion, using specific reasons and details. v.1

Some people think that real life skills like cooking, housekeeping and gardening should be included in the curriculum as compulsory subjects? Explain your opinion, using specific reasons and details. v. 1
Fast food joints are growing at a tremendous scale. On account of this, a majority of individuals are having health issues from consuming the same. Will these people reduce the consumption of junk food, if the higher authorities increase taxes on such types of food? This essay will discuss all significant components in detail. Objectivity being of the essence, the following words will weigh one side of the issue against the other. In my opinion, increasing taxes on such eating items, cannot change people’s eating habits. On the other hand, it can surely impact the middle and low income group individuals. The following two paragraphs will delve effectively into both aspects. First and foremost, each person has a different taste and so, if they love eating such type of food, increasing taxes will certainly not impact the consumption of junk food. Secondly, the upper class will not be affected by increased taxes on such food items. For instance, those who can afford junk food at an expensive rate will continue eating that, at all costs. However, increasing taxes on fast food can restrain the lower and middle class people from purchasing it. Next, if the government creates awareness about the ill-effects of fast food, it can encourage individuals to adopt a healthy diet. Like, showing advertisements of obesity and diabetes by consuming sugary drinks can change a person's attitude. In light of the above, positives like restricting individuals of a certain income group, by raising taxes are evident. Contrarily, it’s challenging to change people’s taste overnight. To conclude, there are two sides to any situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
joints are growing at a tremendous scale. On account of this, a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are having health issues from consuming the same. Will these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, if the higher authorities increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on such types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
? This essay will discuss all significant components in detail.

Objectivity being of the essence, the following words will weigh one side of the issue against the other. In my opinion, increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
items, cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits.
On the other hand
, it can
surely
impact the middle and low income group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. The following two paragraphs will delve
effectively
into both aspects.

First
and foremost, each person has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
taste and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
will
certainly
not impact the consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Secondly
, the upper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items.
For instance
, those who can afford junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at an expensive rate will continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
that, at all costs.

However
, increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can restrain the lower and middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from purchasing it.
Next
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
creates awareness about the ill-effects of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to adopt a healthy diet. Like, showing advertisements of obesity and diabetes by consuming sugary drinks can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a person's attitude.

In light of the above, positives like restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
of a certain income group, by raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
are evident.
Contrarily
, it’s challenging to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
taste overnight.
To conclude
, there are two sides to any situation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that real life skills like cooking, housekeeping and gardening should be included in the curriculum as compulsory subjects? Explain your opinion, using specific reasons and details. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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