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Although some people say it takes away some of our freedom, smoking should be banned in all public places. Do you agree or disagree?

Although some people say it takes away some of our freedom, smoking should be banned in all public places. 8aWWl
Many people smoke and it is their freedom. However, where to smoke is debatable. I strongly believe that all smokers should stay away from public places Firstly, there is one clear, important reason to prohibit smoking in all public places for the sake of public health. This is because passive smoking can be very harmful to people around the smoker. Cigarette contains toxic chemicals such as nicotine and tar, and all these detrimental substances can be inhaled through passive smoking. This means smoking in public places can threaten others' health. For example, public places like parks, bus stops, and cinemas attract all kinds of people including those who are particularly weak and vulnerable such as babies, young children, pregnant women, and the elderly. These innocent people's health can be at risk when a smoker lights a cigarette recklessly. The smoker may have 'chosen' to smoke out of freedom, but others around him suffer the consequences against their will. Therefore, places where people are allowed to smoke should be restricted On the other hand, some people argue that constraining smoking in public areas takes away smokers' freedom. They claim that anyone is entitled to have freedom to do whatever they want. However, this is a selfish thought since not only does smoking affect the smoker alone but also it worsens many others' health. The concept of freedom is lost when it harms other people and interferes with others' freedom. It only seems logical to say that a smoker should take a step back in respect to many other people who are often unwillingly exposed to cigarette smoke In conclusion, smoking in all public places should be strictly banned for the purpose of public health. When an individual gives up this habit for the benefits of the public, our society will be a better place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


smoke and it is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
.
However
, where to smoke is debatable. I

strongly
believe that all smokers should stay away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places

Firstly
, there is one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason to

prohibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places

for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful to

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the smoker. Cigarette contains toxic chemicals such as nicotine and

tar, and all these detrimental substances can
be inhaled
through passive smoking.

This means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places can threaten others'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
, public

places like parks, bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
, and cinemas attract all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including those

who are
particularly
weak and vulnerable such as babies, young children, pregnant

women, and the elderly. These innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
can be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
when a smoker

lights a cigarette
recklessly
. The smoker may have 'chosen' to smoke out of freedom,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others around him suffer the
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "against". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences against
their will.
Therefore
, places

where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to smoke should
be restricted


On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that

constraining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas

takes away smokers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
. They claim that anyone
is entitled
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to

do whatever they want.
However
, this is a selfish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
since not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does

smoking affect the smoker alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it worsens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The

concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
is lost
when it harms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and interferes with others'

freedom. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
seems logical to say that a smoker should take a step back in respect

to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
unwillingly
exposed to cigarette smoke

In conclusion
,

smoking in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places should be
strictly
banned for the purpose

of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. When an individual gives up this habit for the benefits of the public,

our society will be a better place.
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IELTS essay Although some people say it takes away some of our freedom, smoking should be banned in all public places.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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