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Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influences play a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influences play a key role in their development. with this statement? Give your own opinion. 7aaek
A child is generally an empty cassette that records whatever they experience in their surroundings. Parents are often solely responsible for raising a child however the impact of the world also holds a role in the development of the same. While the former statement is true but the latter is also equally important. On the one hand, children's growth is usually dependent on several factors which influence them in many ways. Mainly Schools, friends, TV programs, and even music can affect the daily work of the young one. Precisely, when the child is listening to the music, the genre of that song will develop imagination and the child will always favor that specific genre. Either it is a piece of dark music that will lead to anxiety or depression the children can not judge it on their own. For instance, sometimes TV news programs broadcast content that is not suitable for teenagers, thus the young audience will at some point try to imitate that act. Moreover, the negative thoughts are more easily influenced on the children which act as a barrier to development. On contrary, when the parents take responsibility for the environment where their children are involved, creates a lasting impact in a positive way. Friends influence the child more, as they build up the society in which they spend most of the time. Thus living in good souls will help the child to be a better overall person. Friendship teaches them how to be supportive and maintain trust among people. For example, a group of genuine friends in a school will definitely influence each other by creating them much more competitive and help in excelling the academic achievements as well. Therefore, the people should be chosen wisely to make the life of the child a better one. In brief, parents should always consider maintaining the children's environment safe and secure which will basically help in laying the foundation for the development of a child in long term.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
generally
an empty cassette that records whatever they experience in their surroundings. Parents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
solely
responsible for raising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
however
the impact of the world
also
holds a role in the development of the same. While the former statement is true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the latter is
also
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand, children's growth is
usually
dependent on several factors which influence them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Mainly
Schools, friends, TV programs, and even music can affect the daily work of the young one.
Precisely
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is listening to the music, the genre of that song will develop imagination and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will always favor that specific genre. Either it is a piece of dark music that will lead to anxiety or depression the children can not judge it on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
TV news programs broadcast content
that is
not suitable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
thus
the young audience will at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "points"?
point
try to imitate that act.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts are more
easily
influenced on the children which act as a barrier to development.

On contrary, when the parents take responsibility for the environment where their children
are involved
, creates a lasting impact in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way. Friends influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
more, as they build up the society in which they spend most of the time.
Thus
living in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
souls will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to be a better
overall
person. Friendship teaches them how to be supportive and maintain trust among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, a group of genuine friends in a school will definitely influence each other by creating them much more competitive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in excelling the academic achievements
as well
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be chosen
wisely
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
a better one.

In brief
, parents should always consider maintaining the children's environment safe and secure which will
basically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in laying the foundation for the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in long term.
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IELTS essay Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influences play a key role in their development. with this statement? Give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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