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Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. v. 2
It is common these days to hear people talk about the rivalry between online media and newspapers. While some people think that traditional press will remain the most important source of news, I believe electronic articles and print newspapers will progress together to bring abundant news to the public. On the one hand, I accept that traditional newspapers will not go out of business regardless of the burgeoning trend of online news reading. Firstly, many publications has always acted as the face of certain organisations throughout its long history, and the ritual of enjoying a daily newspaper with a cup of coffee in the morning has been instilled in many generations. Secondly, unlike digital media, people do not need to get online to read breaking news of their choice, and this is really a plus point in many ways. Take inhabitants in rural areas, where Internet is not something ubiquitous compared with urban areas, as an example - they remain happy to catch up with the latest news at local newsstands. However, with more and more people from a wide variety of ages reading online news everyday, I believe media on the Internet has massive advantages to compete with traditional newspapers. The main benefit is its flexibility; correspondents deliver every piece of news 24/7 and anyone in the world can read the hottest headlines as long as they manage to get online. It is also difficult to refuse visual attraction of illustration from high quality images, sound effects and colourful animation attached with the central news. Another benefit of online news is its responsive capabilities which is supported by many social platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Google, et cetera. It means that after reading an appealing article, a news reader could see comments from other netizens or share his or her own opinion to the online community. In conclusion, digital media on the Internet is increasingly becoming an essential source of the latest news for a large number of readers and I believe this electronic type of media will play as important a role as print newspapers have been thus far.
It is common these days to hear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
talk about the rivalry between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that traditional press will remain the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, I believe electronic articles and print
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will progress together to bring abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to the public.

On the one hand, I accept that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will not go out of business regardless of the burgeoning trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reading.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
publications has always acted as the face of certain
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
throughout its long history, and the ritual of enjoying a daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
with a cup of coffee in the morning has
been instilled
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
generations.
Secondly
, unlike digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
to read breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of their choice, and this is
really
a plus point in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Take inhabitants in rural areas, where Internet is not something ubiquitous compared with urban areas, as an example
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
they remain happy to catch up with the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
at local newsstands.

However
, with more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from a wide variety of ages reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on the Internet has massive advantages to compete with traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. The main benefit is its flexibility; correspondents deliver every piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
24/7 and anyone in the world can read the hottest headlines as long as they manage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. It is
also
difficult to refuse visual attraction of illustration from high quality images, sound effects and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
animation attached with the central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is its responsive capabilities which
is supported
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Google,
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
. It means that after reading an appealing article, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reader could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
comments from other netizens or share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
community.

In conclusion
, digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on the Internet is
increasingly
becoming an essential source of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
for
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
readers and I believe this electronic type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will play as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
a role as print
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have been
thus
far.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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