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Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or dis agree with this statement. v.2

The urban population around the world is increasing at an astonishing rate and this trend has put a strain on social resources. Some people suggest that public parks in cities should be converted to business or residential areas to meet the growing need for land. I completely disagree with this point of view. Green areas in cities play an important role in maintaining people’s health. To begin with, trees and other plants in public parks can absorb carbon dioxide and other chemicals in the air and this helps to provide better air quality for everyone living / everyone who lives in the city. This improvement can be crucial for those people who are suffering from breathing disorders because of the deteriorating air pollution. Another reason to maintain public parks is that they make a good place for people to exercise and stay fit. Regular exercise helps people build a stronger body, boost their immune system and thus protect them from catching illness. Moreover, gardens and parks can make cities more visually appealing. If our cities were only filled with skyscrapers, residential areas and business districts, our lives would be dull and bored; whereas the trees and flowers can make our lives more colorful and bring people closer to the nature. Finally, I would argue that building residential apartments and business centers is not a real option to address the issues brought by urban expansion. In my opinion, a better solution is that the governments should start to build more satellite centers outside already crowded downtown areas. This would not only provide more employment opportunities in suburban areas and boost economic growth but also relieve the air pollution and traffic problems in cities. To conclude, I strongly believe that public parks in the cities should be reserved as it is beneficial to both citizens and civic landscape. To deal with the growing needs for land use, governments should take other measures such building more suburb centers.
The urban population around the world is increasing at an astonishing rate and this trend has put a strain on social resources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
should
be converted
to business or residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the growing need for land. I completely disagree with this point of view.

Green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, trees and other plants in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
can absorb carbon dioxide and other chemicals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to provide better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality for everyone living / everyone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the city. This improvement can be crucial for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are suffering from breathing disorders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the deteriorating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. Another reason to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exercise and stay fit. Regular exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
build a stronger body, boost their immune system and
thus
protect them from catching illness.

Moreover
, gardens and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
more
visually
appealing. If our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
filled with skyscrapers, residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and business districts, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
would be dull and bored; whereas the trees and flowers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more colorful and bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer to the nature.

Finally
, I would argue that building residential apartments and business centers is not a real option to address the issues brought by urban expansion. In my opinion, a better solution is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to build more satellite centers outside already crowded downtown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide more employment opportunities in suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and boost economic growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
relieve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution and traffic problems in cities.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
should
be reserved
as it is beneficial to both citizens and civic landscape. To deal with the growing needs for land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take other measures such building more suburb centers.
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IELTS essay Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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