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Although it is sometimes thought that the government should construct more buildings and decrease greenery areas in the city centre to benefit commuters, other people believe that parks and gardens are also crucial to the environment. In my opinion, I consider that citizens cannot live a healthy life without green spaces. On the one hand, some people think that green spaces are an essential part of a city’s ecosystem and I agree. Without plants in parks, urban wildlife will have no habitat, which will result in destroying the biodiverse. Furthermore, green spaces are necessary for people’s well-being, and they provide peaceful places for locals to enjoy. People can escape from the hustle and bustle and have a good rest in parks when they appreciate the trees and flowers after a long day’s work. On the other hand, it is often believed overpopulation is a problem in most cities. Many commuters, who cannot find housing in the city centres, have to live in suburb or even rural(suburba

Although it is sometimes thought that the government should construct more buildings and decrease greenery areas in the city centre to benefit commuters, other people believe that parks and gardens are also crucial to the environment. In my opinion, I consider that citizens cannot live a healthy life without green spaces. On the one hand, some people think that green spaces are an essential part of a city’s ecosystem and I agree. Without plants in parks, urban wildlife will have no habitat, which will result in destroying the biodiverse. Furthermore, green spaces are necessary for people’s well-being, and they provide peaceful places for locals to enjoy. People can escape from the hustle and bustle and have a good rest in parks when they appreciate the trees and flowers after a long day’s work. On the other hand, it is often believed overpopulation is a problem in most cities. Many commuters, who cannot find housing in the city centres, have to live in suburb or even rural(suburba g5AM3
Although it is sometimes thought that the government should construct more buildings and decrease greenery areas in the city centre to benefit commuters, other people believe that parks and gardens are also crucial to the environment. In my opinion, I consider that citizens cannot live a healthy life without green spaces. On the one hand, some people think that green spaces are an essential part of a city’s ecosystem and I agree. Without plants in parks, urban wildlife will have no habitat, which will result in destroying the biodiverse. Furthermore, green spaces are necessary for people’s well-being, and they provide peaceful places for locals to enjoy. People can escape from the hustle and bustle and have a good rest in parks when they appreciate the trees and flowers after a long day’s work. On the other hand, it is often believed overpopulation is a problem in most cities. Many commuters, who cannot find housing in the city centres, have to live in suburb or even rural(suburban) areas, which are far away from their offices. As a consequence, (Consequently)they spend more than two hours to travel(travelling) every morning and this(, which) might decrease their working efficiency in the workplace. Moreover, some people opt to live in poor conditions in order to save money, which can result in serious health concerns. Cities are unable to develop further without healthy and well-being citizens. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think that the government ought to protect the parks and gardens rather than building(build) houses since they can improve living conditions and improve social well-being.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should construct more buildings and decrease greenery areas in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
to benefit commuters, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and gardens are
also
crucial to the environment. In my opinion, I consider that citizens cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy life without green spaces.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that green spaces are an essential part of a city’s ecosystem and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. Without plants in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, urban wildlife will have no habitat, which will result in destroying the biodiverse.
Furthermore
, green spaces are necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
well-being, and they provide peaceful places for locals to enjoy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can escape from the hustle and bustle and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
when they appreciate the trees and flowers after a long day’s work.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed overpopulation is a problem in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
commuters, who cannot find housing in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in suburb or even rural(suburban) areas, which are far away from their offices. As a consequence, (
Consequently
)they spend more than two hours to travel(travelling) every morning and this(, which) might decrease their working efficiency in the workplace.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in poor conditions in order to save money, which can result in serious health concerns.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
are unable to develop
further
without healthy and well-being citizens.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and gardens
rather
than building(build)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
since they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
living conditions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
social well-being.
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IELTS essay Although it is sometimes thought that the government should construct more buildings and decrease greenery areas in the city centre to benefit commuters, other people believe that parks and gardens are also crucial to the environment. In my opinion, I consider that citizens cannot live a healthy life without green spaces. On the one hand, some people think that green spaces are an essential part of a city’s ecosystem and I agree. Without plants in parks, urban wildlife will have no habitat, which will result in destroying the biodiverse. Furthermore, green spaces are necessary for people’s well-being, and they provide peaceful places for locals to enjoy. People can escape from the hustle and bustle and have a good rest in parks when they appreciate the trees and flowers after a long day’s work. On the other hand, it is often believed overpopulation is a problem in most cities. Many commuters, who cannot find housing in the city centres, have to live in suburb or even rural(suburba

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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