Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

1. Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

1. Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects? QLlQ3
It is commonly believed that arts play a fundamental role in our society as artists able to express their thoughts and their cultures in their works. In my humble opinion children should definitely learn arts, because they can develop creativity and learn to express themselves in their art work but it should not be taught in the detriment of other subjects. Firstly, Art is an essential subject which children especially young people should learn to improve their imagination and creativity. Without developing of imagination of children and creative thinking, children will struggle into dynamic and individual thinking when they reach adulthood. For instance, in Europe children studies art from primary school to make them a generation who able to thinking widely and improve their talents. hence some children are particularly gifted in their creative abilities and studying arts can help them nurture their talents. furthermore, studying arts for children and how useful study of arts for them, this should not result in more focus being placed on arts rather than other subjects. children need to have a balance of all subjects so as to facilitate a healthy development both mantically and physically. this has been scientifically proven by a research conducted by Cambridge university, which emphasizes the fact that growing children in a balance between arts, science, languages and physical education will make them thinking creatively and create a lot of good things in their life. this means that we should not focus on studying arts only but we should grow our children carefully and emulate each other’s success. in conclusion, whilst art certainly helps child develop creatively as well as express their thoughts, it should be thought equally alongside with all subjects and school curriculum should offer a balance between subjects.
It is
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
play a fundamental role in our society as artists able to express their thoughts and their cultures in their works. In my humble opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should definitely learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can develop creativity and learn to express themselves in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not
be taught
in the detriment of other subjects.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
especially
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their imagination and creativity. Without developing of imagination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will struggle into dynamic and individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
when they reach adulthood.
For instance
, in Europe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
from primary school to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a generation
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a able".
who able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
widely
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their talents.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
hence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
particularly
gifted in their creative abilities and studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them nurture their talents.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and how useful study of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
for them, this should not result in more focus
being placed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
rather
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
need to have a balance of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
facilitate a healthy development both
Possible spelling mistake found.
mantically
and
physically
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
has been
scientifically
proven by
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by Cambridge university, which emphasizes the fact that growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, science, languages and physical education will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
creatively
and create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things in their life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
means that we should not focus on studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should grow our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
carefully
and emulate each other’s success.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
child develop
creatively
as well
as express their thoughts, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
equally
alongside with all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and school curriculum should offer a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay 1. Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts