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Although computers are considered to be one of the greatest technologies ever made by humans, there is an opinion that blue screens bring more troubles than benefits

Although computers are considered to be one of the greatest technologies ever made by humans, there is an opinion that blue screens bring more troubles than benefits PoEg
Although computers are considered to be one of the greatest technologies ever made by humans, there is an opinion that blue screens bring more troubles than benefits. Computers could be supposed a hindrance because they have a detrimental effect on health, and they contain unnecessary information. Firstly, those years have a terrific effect on health. Computers constantly radiate rays that interact with our skin and even undergo it, causing illnesses of our inner body parts and weakening our immune system. The blue screen always affects our eyes, hurting our vision capabilities. For example, people that look at screens a lot, often wear glasses because they have bad eyesight. Consequently, computers are truly able to bring physical harm to our bodies. Secondly, this artificial brain contains information inside of it that people don’t need. Today we always use the internet and the internet is a dangerous place. Even though it contains helpful and beneficial information, it also has a lot of people and sites that children or even adults don’t have to communicate with or continue. For example, people are swearing a lot, saying bad things that you don’t want your children to hear or see. This way internet and computers as a tool might break people mind, morally. To conclude everything, computers are dangerous to our physical shape and also can harm people mentally.
Although computers
are considered
to be one of the greatest technologies ever made by humans, there is an opinion that blue screens bring more troubles than benefits. Computers could
be supposed
a hindrance
because
they have a detrimental effect on health, and they contain unnecessary information.

Firstly
, those years have a terrific effect on health. Computers
constantly
radiate rays that interact with our skin and even undergo it, causing illnesses of our inner body parts and weakening our immune system. The blue screen always affects our eyes, hurting our vision capabilities.
For example
,
people
that look at screens a lot,
often
wear glasses
because
they have
bad
eyesight.
Consequently
, computers are
truly
able to bring physical harm to our bodies.

Secondly
, this artificial brain contains information
inside of
it that
people
don’t need.
Today
we always
use
the internet and the internet
is
a
dangerous
place.
Even though
it contains helpful and beneficial information, it
also
has
a lot of
people
and sites that children or even adults don’t
have to
communicate with or continue.
For example
,
people
are swearing a lot, saying
bad
things that you don’t want your children to hear or
see
. This way internet and computers as a tool might break
people
mind,
morally
.

To conclude
everything, computers are
dangerous
to our physical shape and
also
can harm
people
mentally.
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IELTS essay Although computers are considered to be one of the greatest technologies ever made by humans, there is an opinion that blue screens bring more troubles than benefits

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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