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alternative medicine, fitness and diet.

alternative medicine, fitness and diet. K0NPN
Currently, we live in a world of capital where the only thing that really matters is money. If it is necessary to mislead and deceive people to make money, companies will do it, indeed, the government will allow it and support it because they make money too. As a result, we have a blind society that cannot get the right information easily. Which begs the question: How can we differentiate between a normal life and a healthy one if we are continually being tricked? To start with, there is a dramatic surge in a number of people choosing alternative medicine as a method of curing their illnesses without even consulting with health professionals. In addition, they take 'special diets' in order to lose weight, such as none of which have any scientific evidence of being effective. For instance, Herbalife has created shakes that claim to replace an entire meal. The result has been worse than the remedy; many people who have tried this method have developed kidney and liver failure. On the other hand, there is the surprising trend of sport and fitness addicts. Athletes have developed an obsession with physique due to the false image of the 'perfect body' propagated by advertising and commercials. This is why these people sacrifice so much of their lives, from their money on unnecessary processed protein products to their own health. There have been extreme cases reported where athletes have had to be transferred to intensive care because of their lifestyles. In short, citizens will not wake up and become aware of the severity of the issue as long as companies continue to cheat. As I am concerned, to answer the question at the beginning it is crucial to give society the right information first, then they can choose their habits in consequence.
Currently
, we
live
in a world of capital where the
only
thing that
really
matters is
money
. If it is necessary to mislead and deceive
people
to
make
money
,
companies
will do it,
indeed
, the
government
will
allow
it and support it
because
they
make
money
too.
As a result
, we have a blind society that cannot
get
the right information
easily
. Which begs the question: How can we differentiate between a normal life and a healthy one if we are
continually
being tricked
?

To
start
with, there is a dramatic surge in a number of
people
choosing alternative medicine as a method of curing their illnesses without even consulting with health professionals.
In addition
, they take 'special diets' in order to lose weight, such as none of which have any scientific evidence of being effective.
For instance
, Herbalife has created shakes that claim to replace an entire meal. The result has been worse than the remedy;
many
people
who have tried this method have developed kidney and liver failure.

On the other hand
, there is the surprising trend of sport and fitness addicts. Athletes have developed an obsession with physique due to the false image of the 'perfect body' propagated by advertising and commercials. This is why these
people
sacrifice
so
much of their
lives
, from their
money
on unnecessary processed protein products to their
own
health. There have been extreme cases reported where athletes have had to
be transferred
to intensive care
because
of their lifestyles.

In short, citizens will not wake up and become aware of the severity of the issue as long as
companies
continue to cheat. As I
am concerned
, to answer the question at the beginning it is crucial to give society the right information
first
, then they can choose their habits in consequence.
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IELTS essay alternative medicine, fitness and diet.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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