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The positive trend of International tourism

The positive trend of International tourism 55dMe
There is a myriad of benefits when it comes to international tourism. On the one hand, in terms of local residents, being able to operate services, namely hotels, restaurants, and even souvenir stores are attributable to more job opportunities for local people. Furthermore, by the assistance of international tourism, not only local citizens have the chance to exhibit their rich cultures and traditional sights but also can make decent incomes out of it. For instance, international visitors of Venice spread the fame of it and even spend their own money in order to enjoy it there. On the other hand, in terms of international sightseers themselves, having adventurous visitings beyond borders and among new people can lead to new connections and friendships with their counterparts which could end up with marvelous sightseeing. Moreover, traveling in different environments and cities, such as historical or modern ones seemingly can provide excellent experience and information. For example, international tourists in Athens acquire better knowledge and experience about that area compared with the ones that did not attend to visit there. Thereby, the benefits of international tourists can outshine its drawbacks and will pay dividends.
There is a myriad of benefits when it
comes
to
international
tourism. On the one hand, in terms of local residents, being able to operate services,
namely
hotels, restaurants, and even souvenir stores are attributable to more job opportunities for local
people
.
Furthermore
, by the assistance of
international
tourism, not
only
local citizens have the chance to exhibit their rich cultures and traditional sights
but
also
can
make
decent incomes out of it.
For instance
,
international
visitors of Venice spread the fame of it and even spend their
own
money in order to enjoy it there.
On the other hand
, in terms of
international
sightseers themselves, having adventurous
visitings
beyond borders and among new
people
can lead to new connections and friendships with their counterparts which could
end
up with marvelous sightseeing.
Moreover
, traveling in
different
environments and cities, such as historical or modern
ones
seemingly
can provide excellent experience and information.
For example
,
international
tourists in Athens acquire better knowledge and experience about that area compared with the
ones
that did not attend to visit there. Thereby, the benefits of
international
tourists can outshine its drawbacks and will pay dividends.
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IELTS essay The positive trend of International tourism

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
191 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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