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all government should cut back on military spending

all government should cut back on military spending NwJEj
Nowadays, in many societies all places have been safe for a living then a considerable number of arguments are asserted. Instead of financial support to armed forces, the government ought to spend this money to meet individuals needs who can not afford necessary needs. In my opinion, not only do people need safety in hazardous situations but also need primitive needs. Military organization such as police department where is one of the fundamental services in advanced society, which inturn, responsible for safety and defence of victims in return sinners. In addition, the main responsibility is a judgment between trust and lies. Therefore, if the government put limitations in terms of economy to this organization, due to the declining quality of services the rate of crime dramatically increases. As another aspect, a significant number of staff work for the military organization so with cutting back on financial support armed forced department should adjust a number of worker subsequently considerable rise of unemployment rise. Unfortunately, judging by statistics plenty of people in the world are under the poverty line. So these members of society need more special attention and support in terms of the economy. On the other hand, people do not have to choose either safety or financial support, however, they need both of them alongside. Therefore, the government ought to give balance in all paramount aspects of society and they should be able to divide financial sources to all of that. Besides, decrease inflation rate which targets to drop a number of needy individuals. As a consequence, having said that people not only safety also need financial support to meet their basic needs. Consequently, the government should pay abandon attention to all aspects and the government does not cut back on military spending.
Nowadays, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
all places have been safe for a living then a considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of arguments
are asserted
.
Instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to armed forces, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ought to spend this money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
who can not afford necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. In my opinion, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
in hazardous situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
primitive needs.

Military organization such as police department where is one of the fundamental services in advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
, responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
of victims in return sinners.
In addition
, the main responsibility is a judgment between trust and lies.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
put limitations in terms of economy to this organization, due to the declining quality of services the rate of crime
dramatically
increases. As another aspect, a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of staff work for the military organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
with cutting back on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
armed forced department should adjust a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of worker
subsequently
considerable rise of unemployment rise.

Unfortunately, judging by statistics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world are under the poverty line.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more special attention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
in terms of the economy.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
,
however
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
both of them alongside.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ought to give balance in all paramount aspects of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they should be able to divide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
sources to all of that.
Besides
, decrease inflation rate which targets to drop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of needy individuals.

As a consequence, having said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay abandon attention to all aspects and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
back on military spending.
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IELTS essay all government should cut back on military spending

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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