Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born. What is your opinion? v.2

All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born. What is your opinion? v. 2
Parents, especially father is the cornerstone of each family. It is often discussed about the father's role over the family when the arrival of newcomer in the home and the paternity leaves for them. However, in my opinion, it is not a good idea because, dad must do the overwhelming majority of household requirements and he will be the one to control and guide over the home. When the birth of a child the expense become high and the maternity care of mother must do with ancestor at any cost. Firstly, to settle an account for the family would be an exhausting strategy for everyone. Increasing expenditure would be managed by the earning member of the family like father. If the time off work may lead to poverty and insufficient nutrition for newborn baby and mother. For instance, breastfeeding is major nutritious elements for the baby, since, the mortality rate of infants is higher in the state of Calcutta by the fact of significant poverty as reported by the media. Furthermore, Although affection and caring are inevitable for the baby at once, more than that to give adequate supply for the mother baby would be best to the core. Secondly, labour and delivery may inhibit the mother's health to do work independently at least three to four months. During that time to give financial support for the family would be the father's matter of choice. Moreover, if the mother may be with an unpaid maternity leave which lead to a crisis for the increasing disbursement. For example, single parent family is suffering significant difficulties in daily life. In conclusion, father's physical support during baby care is inevitable. Nevertheless, psychological and financial support would be the best thing as a father can provide for the family irrespective of voluntary leave for paternal care.
Parents,
especially
father is the cornerstone of each
family
. It is
often
discussed about the
father's role over the
family
when the arrival of newcomer in the home and the paternity
leaves
for them.
However
, in my opinion, it is not a
good
idea
because
, dad
must
do the overwhelming majority of household
requirements and
he will be the one to control and guide over the home. When the birth of a child the expense become high and the maternity care of
mother
must
do with ancestor at any cost.

Firstly
, to settle an account for the
family
would be an exhausting strategy for everyone. Increasing expenditure would
be managed
by the earning member of the
family
like father. If the time off work may lead to poverty and insufficient nutrition for newborn baby and
mother
.
For instance
, breastfeeding is major nutritious elements for the baby, since, the mortality rate of infants is higher in the state of Calcutta by the fact of significant poverty as reported by the media.
Furthermore
, Although affection and caring are inevitable for the baby at once, more than that to give adequate supply for the
mother
baby would be best to the core.

Secondly
,
labour
and delivery may inhibit the mother's health to do work
independently
at least three to four months. During that time to give financial support for the
family
would be the father's matter of choice.
Moreover
, if the
mother
may be with an unpaid maternity
leave
which lead to a crisis for the increasing disbursement.
For example
, single parent
family
is suffering significant difficulties in daily life.

In conclusion
, father's physical support during baby care is inevitable.
Nevertheless
, psychological and financial support would be the best thing as a father can provide for the
family
irrespective of voluntary
leave
for paternal care.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts