All countries throughout the world are facing health issues related to modern lifestyles. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v.1
All countries throughout the world are facing health issues related to modern lifestyles. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 1
Nowadays, the numbers of people who face health problems have increased rapidly due to modern lifestyles. There are various reasons which have caused the situation, and the following essay will discuss the issue and how to address it.
For a number of reasons, many people are facing serious health issues due to the modern lifestyle. Firstly, due to the globalisation, people have a longer working hour these days and consequently, they do not have or have a limited amount time for doing exercises. As a result, many employees are facing health problems such as high blood pressure and diabetic. Secondly, due to the high volume of work, many people are consuming instant food nowadays. Many scientists have proven that these instant foods are considered as unhealthy, as it could trigger some serious threat to the human's body, such as tumour or cancer.
There are things that people could do to avoid these unhealthy lifestyles. One of the things that people could do in their workplace is by doing some light exercises at the office. For instance, they could take the stairs instead of riding the elevator. And then, they could change their diet pattern, by bringing healthy foods from home, instead of dining at a fast food restaurant. And last but not least, people could consider in changing their mode of transportations. Instead of using their motor vehicle to work, they could ride a bicycle. Riding a bike is not just a simple and healthy exercise, but it also reduces the air pollution as well.
In conclusion, it is a fact that many people have problems with their health condition due to the modern world. It is mostly due to longer working hours and unhealthy diet patterns. However, these problems could be solved if people change their lifestyles, such as by stop consuming junk foods and bring healthy foods from their home or doing some light exercises at the office. Once they change their lifestyles, I am sure that their health condition would improve. 
Nowadays, the numbers of  
people
 who face  
health
  problems
 have increased  
rapidly
  due
 to modern  
lifestyles
. There are various reasons which have caused the situation, and the following essay will discuss the issue and how to address it.
For a number of reasons,  
many
  people
 are facing serious  
health
 issues  
due
 to the modern  
lifestyle
.  
Firstly
,  
due
 to the  
globalisation
,  
people
 have a longer working hour these days and  
consequently
, they do not have or have a limited amount time for doing  
exercises
.  
As a result
,  
many
 employees are facing  
health
  problems
 such as high blood pressure and diabetic.  
Secondly
,  
due
 to the high volume of work,  
many
  people
 are consuming instant  
food
 nowadays.  
Many
 scientists have proven that these instant  
foods
  are considered
 as unhealthy, as it could trigger  
some
 serious threat to the human's body, such as  
tumour
 or cancer.
There are things that  
people
 could do to avoid these unhealthy  
lifestyles
. One of the things that  
people
 could do in their workplace is by doing  
some
 light  
exercises
 at the office.  
For instance
, they could take the stairs  
instead
 of riding the elevator. And then, they could  
change
 their diet pattern, by bringing healthy  
foods
 from home,  
instead
 of dining at a  
fast
  food
 restaurant. And last  
but
 not least,  
people
 could consider in changing their mode of transportations.  
Instead
 of using their motor vehicle to work, they could ride a bicycle. Riding a bike is not  
just
 a simple and healthy  
exercise
,  
but
 it  
also
  reduces
 the air pollution  
as well
. 
In conclusion
, it is a fact that  
many
  people
 have  
problems
 with their  
health
 condition  
due
 to the modern world. It is  
mostly
  due
 to longer working hours and unhealthy diet patterns.  
However
, these  
problems
 could  
be solved
 if  
people
  change
 their  
lifestyles
, such as by  
stop
 consuming junk  
foods
 and bring healthy  
foods
 from their home or doing  
some
 light  
exercises
 at the office. Once they  
change
 their  
lifestyles
, I am sure that their  
health
 condition would  
improve
. 
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes