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All countries throughout the world are facing health issues related to modern lifestyles. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v.1

All countries throughout the world are facing health issues related to modern lifestyles. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 1
Nowadays, the numbers of people who face health problems have increased rapidly due to modern lifestyles. There are various reasons which have caused the situation, and the following essay will discuss the issue and how to address it. For a number of reasons, many people are facing serious health issues due to the modern lifestyle. Firstly, due to the globalisation, people have a longer working hour these days and consequently, they do not have or have a limited amount time for doing exercises. As a result, many employees are facing health problems such as high blood pressure and diabetic. Secondly, due to the high volume of work, many people are consuming instant food nowadays. Many scientists have proven that these instant foods are considered as unhealthy, as it could trigger some serious threat to the human's body, such as tumour or cancer. There are things that people could do to avoid these unhealthy lifestyles. One of the things that people could do in their workplace is by doing some light exercises at the office. For instance, they could take the stairs instead of riding the elevator. And then, they could change their diet pattern, by bringing healthy foods from home, instead of dining at a fast food restaurant. And last but not least, people could consider in changing their mode of transportations. Instead of using their motor vehicle to work, they could ride a bicycle. Riding a bike is not just a simple and healthy exercise, but it also reduces the air pollution as well. In conclusion, it is a fact that many people have problems with their health condition due to the modern world. It is mostly due to longer working hours and unhealthy diet patterns. However, these problems could be solved if people change their lifestyles, such as by stop consuming junk foods and bring healthy foods from their home or doing some light exercises at the office. Once they change their lifestyles, I am sure that their health condition would improve.
Nowadays, the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have increased
rapidly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
. There are various reasons which have caused the situation, and the following essay will discuss the issue and how to address it.

For a number of reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
are facing serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
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people
have a longer working hour these days and
consequently
, they do not have or have a limited amount time for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as high blood pressure and diabetic.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the high volume of work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are consuming instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists have proven that these instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are considered
as unhealthy, as it could trigger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious threat to the human's body, such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'tumour' is British English.
tumour
or cancer.

There are things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could do to avoid these unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
. One of the things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could do in their workplace is by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
at the office.
For instance
, they could take the stairs
instead
of riding the elevator. And then, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their diet pattern, by bringing healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from home,
instead
of dining at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurant. And last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could consider in changing their mode of transportations.
Instead
of using their motor vehicle to work, they could ride a bicycle. Riding a bike is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a simple and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the air pollution
as well
.

In conclusion
, it is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the modern world. It is
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to longer working hours and unhealthy diet patterns.
However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
could
be solved
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
, such as by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
consuming junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and bring healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from their home or doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
at the office. Once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
, I am sure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay All countries throughout the world are facing health issues related to modern lifestyles. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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