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All around the globe every year many animal species become extinct. However, some people feel that governments should be concerned more with solving the problems of human life. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

All around the globe every year many animal species become extinct. However, some people feel that governments should be concerned more with solving the problems of human life. v. 1
Daily exercise is essential to stay strong and healthy with today’s busy lifestyle. It is believed that exercises may be the successor to fitness. Therefore, some may believe attending a fitness centre is more beneficial than the activities we do throughout the day, such as using stairs, walking or cooking. In this essay, I would agree with those who argue that it is adequate to perform daily chores. Firstly, since the last decayed gyms seem to be ubiquitous and thought to be accessing them might provide one, with structured and technically advanced exercises to stay strong. In a typical centre, individuals can take the use of various types of equipment and tools, which suit your workout. There are professional instructors, who can instruct you to perform the exercises correctly and effectively. Moreover, it seems like a place to greet the community. The argument goes that if just by performing daily activities only, people will lose the opportunity to undertake proper exercising routines. However, innumerable people might incapable to take the assistance of a gym due to lack of leisure time and luxury spare money to be spent on. In the fast-moving world, many busy with their professions and have inadequate spare time for the exercises. Therefore getting the most out of an active lifestyle is more practical than a trip to a gym. For example, using the office stairs rather than taking the elevator, washing your car, at home or even cleaning your garden will supply the daily dose of exercise. Furthermore, it allows free of charge fitness activities more naturally, Therefore, this is the significant natural way of assisting people to maintain their vigour. In conclusion, although it is suitable for enrolling in a gym to be physically well, I feel daily activities will give adequate strength to stay active and healthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is essential to stay strong and healthy with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s busy lifestyle. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
may be the successor to fitness.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may believe attending a fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is more beneficial than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
we do throughout the day, such as using stairs, walking or cooking. In this essay, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who argue that it is adequate to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
chores.

Firstly
, since the last decayed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
seem to be ubiquitous and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be accessing them might provide one, with structured and
technically
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
to stay strong. In a typical
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, individuals can take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of various types of equipment and tools, which suit your workout. There are professional instructors, who can instruct you to perform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
correctly
and
effectively
.
Moreover
, it seems like a place to greet the community. The argument goes that if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will lose the opportunity to undertake proper exercising routines.

However
, innumerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might incapable to take the assistance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
due to lack of leisure time and luxury spare money to
be spent
on. In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-moving world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
busy with their professions and have inadequate spare time for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
getting the most out of an active lifestyle is more practical than a trip to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
.
For example
, using the office stairs
rather
than taking the elevator, washing your car, at home or even cleaning your garden will supply the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
dose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
free of charge fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
more
naturally
,
Therefore
, this is the significant natural way of assisting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to maintain their
Possible spelling mistake found.
vigour
.

In conclusion
, although it is suitable for enrolling in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
to be
physically
well, I feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
will give adequate strength to stay active and healthy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay All around the globe every year many animal species become extinct. However, some people feel that governments should be concerned more with solving the problems of human life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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