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Air quality, lack of exercise and health-damaging meals are three problems affecting urban populations, if you were the authority, what would you do?

Air quality, lack of exercise and health-damaging meals are three problems affecting urban populations, if you were the authority, what would you do? Q25V1
Generally speaking, urbanization is inevitable process of a developing country. However, there are many problems affecting the population in the urban such as air quality, lack of exercise and health damaging. Therefore, the authorities should to have the solutions to reduce these negative effects. Firstly, the authorities can mobilize the people to use the public transport. The air pollution is usually an important problem in the city. Because of the huge number of vehicles on the roads daily, the emissions from these transports is much more than we can imagine. They can subsidize the fare, especially charge cheaper prices for the old, the students or the disabilities. If the government can reduce the private transport and encourage the habitants to use the public transport, the air quality might be improved. Secondly, the government can build more public services such as community parks, playgrounds. The urban population tend to have lack of exercise, they have consequently many diseases related to heart or diabetes. In addition, they do have enough the space or the facilities in their accommodation. With the community parks and playgrounds, the adults and children can participate in physical activities such as running, playing badminton, etc. In any case, the trees in parks can also contribute to filter the air. Thirdly, the authorities can launch the campaign on the population’s conscious about cooking by self. As a consequence, they encourage the habitants to cook at home by organize a competition or broadcast the cooking show on the television. The people in the urban tend to be short of time, therefore they usually eat the fast-food due to its convenient sides. The government cannot forbid to buy these meals but they can impose the stricter law on these restaurants about the food quality. In conclusion, urbanization is necessary for a developing country although this process has disadvantages affecting people in the city. The authorities and the habitants consequently must be together in healthy social development.
Generally
speaking, urbanization is inevitable process of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems affecting the population in the urban such as air quality, lack of exercise and health damaging.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
should to have the solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
can mobilize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. The air pollution is
usually
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
problem in the city.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the huge number of vehicles on the roads daily, the emissions from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
is much more than we can imagine. They can subsidize the fare,
especially
charge cheaper prices for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, the students or the disabilities. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
and encourage the habitants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, the air quality might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can build more public services such as community parks, playgrounds. The urban population tend to have lack of exercise, they have
consequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases related to heart or diabetes.
In addition
, they do have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
the space or the facilities in their accommodation. With the community parks and playgrounds, the adults and children can participate in physical activities such as running, playing badminton, etc. In any case, the trees in parks can
also
contribute to filter the air.

Thirdly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
can launch the campaign on the population’s conscious about cooking by self. As a consequence, they encourage the habitants to cook at home by organize a competition or broadcast the cooking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
on the television. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the urban tend to be short of time,
therefore
they
usually
eat the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food due to its convenient sides. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
cannot forbid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these meals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can impose the stricter law on these restaurants about the food quality.

In conclusion
, urbanization is necessary for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
although this process has disadvantages affecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the city. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
and the habitants
consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be together in healthy social development.
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IELTS essay Air quality, lack of exercise and health-damaging meals are three problems affecting urban populations, if you were the authority, what would you do?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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