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Air pollution factors in Alborz Province

Air pollution factors in Alborz Province 9YK27
When the density of harmful gases in the air which affects humans and other animals' lives negatively, goes up, it’s called air pollution. This phenomenon is an important environmental problem in Alborz province. Alborz province is suffering heavy air pollution due to transportations, industrial units, and changing the use of gardens and agricultural fields. One of the main factors among the three prominent factors of the Alborz air pollution is transportation. Transportation has an important role in the development of the social and economic welfare of any country, due to its scope of operation, it is one of the major sectors of energy consumption in the country. The most important pollution in the energy sector is caused by the combustion of fossil fuels. According to the statistics of the road administration and the Police, more than one million and 300 thousand vehicles travel daily in the suburban and inner-city of Alborz province. Alborz connects 15 provinces of the country and accounts for 20% of the country's suburban traffic, which affects air pollution in the province. The next factor is the industrial units. Currently, Alborz is known as one of the industrial provinces of the country, which has many economical benefits but also has negative impacts on the air index. The activities of unlicensed industrial units also produce pollution. Currently, according to the latest estimates, more than 3, 000 unlicensed industrial and production units are active in Alborz which due to lack of Receiving a license, there is no control over the level of pollution of these units. The third and last factor of the pollution of Alborz is the change of use of gardens and agricultural fields. The city of Karaj in previous years was known as a green city that has a very pleasant and clean climate. Karaj has always been referred to as the lungs of Alborz and Tehran province. However, nowadays there are not many signs of good weather in this city. In recent decades, we have witnessed changes in the use of orchards and agricultural fields, including apple orchards in Karaj. The expansion of urbanization and migration to this city due to the proximity to the capital and better job opportunities have had a direct impact on the change of use of these fields as well as the climate and ultimately the air index. To summarize, air pollutants cause serious damage to the health of citizens and animals, as well as create a destructive environment. Alborz province has suffered from severe air pollution due to transportation due to its proximity to the capital, the removal, and destruction of gardens for road construction, and in the end industrialization.
When the density of harmful gases in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
which affects humans and other animals'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
negatively
, goes up, it’s called
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air
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pollution
. This phenomenon is an
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important
environmental problem in
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Alborz
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province
.
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Alborz
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province
is suffering heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
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due
to
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transportations
,
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industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
, and changing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of gardens and agricultural fields.

One of the main
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factors
among the three prominent
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factors
of the
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Alborz
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air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is
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transportation
.
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Transportation
has an
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important
role in the development of the social and economic welfare of any
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country
,
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due
to its scope of operation, it is one of the major sectors of energy consumption in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
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pollution
in the energy sector
is caused
by the combustion of fossil fuels. According to the statistics of the road administration and the Police, more than one million and 300 thousand vehicles travel daily in the suburban and inner-city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alborz
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province
.
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Alborz
connects 15
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provinces
of the
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country
and accounts for 20% of the country's suburban traffic, which affects
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air
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pollution
in the province.

The
next
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factor
is the
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industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
Currently
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alborz
is known
as one of the
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industrial
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provinces
of the
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country
, which has
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many
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
benefits
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but
also
has
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negative
impacts on the
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air
index. The activities of unlicensed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
also
produce
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pollution
.
Currently
, according to the latest estimates, more than 3, 000 unlicensed
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industrial
and production
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units
are active in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alborz
which
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due
to lack of Receiving a license, there is no control over the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
of these units.

The third and last
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factor
of the
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pollution
of
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Alborz
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of gardens and agricultural fields. The city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karaj
in previous years
was known
as a green city that has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
pleasant and clean climate.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karaj
has always
been referred
to as the lungs of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alborz
and Tehran
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province
.
However
, nowadays there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
signs of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
weather in this city. In recent decades, we have witnessed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of orchards and agricultural fields, including apple orchards in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karaj
. The expansion of urbanization and migration to this city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the proximity to the capital and better job opportunities have had a direct impact on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these fields
as well
as the climate and
ultimately
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
index.

To summarize
,
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air
pollutants cause serious damage to the health of citizens and animals,
as well
as create a destructive environment.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alborz
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
province
has suffered from severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its proximity to the capital, the removal, and destruction of gardens for road construction, and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
industrialization.
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IELTS essay Air pollution factors in Alborz Province

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
441 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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