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Number of people are going to abroad countries is increasing. Do the advantage of this outweigh its drawbacks.

Number of people are going to abroad countries is increasing. Do the advantage of this outweigh its drawbacks. NWRpb
Nowadays, visiting to foreign regions is more common among masses as compared to past time. Tn my opinion, the benifits of tourism are far greater than the drawbacks. On the one hand, there are a host of positive effects of tourism. First and foremost one is that visiting to abroad countries is very helpful to enhance the knowledge of tourists related to other cultures as well as they can learn new languages. Masses can also send their vacations time in other places and get chance to experience the facility of visiting country. Secondly, tourism affects the economy of host country in good way because this approach gives chance to hotels, restaurants, transport services and shops to earn more from where tourists purchase clothes, eating stuffs and stay in rooms of hotels. Not only it is profitable for existing business but this approach helps to create more job opportunities such as tour and travel guides. On the other hand, there are a lot of negative effects of tourism starting with, this trend increases the traffic of host country because tourists may be preferred private transport rather than public transportation system to commute theirself which leads to traffic problems. Moreover, tourists visits to other countries for their entertainment where they purchase food, clothes and other things which increases the inflation because of increasing the demand of products. Ending with, this trend has negative effects on environment also where they increase the certain of wastage (plastic) and increase the consumption of fossil fuels such as petrol, electricity. For the accomodation of tourists, governments have to build more commerical buildings which give the birth to new problem deforestation because governments have to cut trees and ckear the agricultural land to build buildings. To conclude, this development has negative effects, positive effects outweigh its drawbacks according to me.
Nowadays, visiting to foreign regions is more common among masses as compared to
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
. Tn my opinion, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
are far greater than the drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "hosts"?
host
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
First
and foremost one is that visiting to abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to enhance the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures
as well
as they can learn new languages. Masses can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their vacations time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance to experience the facility of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
affects the economy of host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this approach gives chance to hotels, restaurants, transport services and shops to earn more from where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
clothes, eating stuffs and stay in rooms of hotels. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it is profitable for existing business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this approach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to create more job opportunities such as tour and travel guides.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
starting with, this trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
the traffic of host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
may
be preferred
private transport
rather
than public transportation system to commute
Possible spelling mistake found.
theirself
which leads to traffic problems.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for their entertainment where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
food, clothes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
the inflation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increasing the demand of products. Ending with, this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on environment
also
where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the certain of wastage (plastic) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the consumption of fossil fuels such as petrol, electricity. For the
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build more
Possible spelling mistake found.
commerical
buildings which give the birth to new problem deforestation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
trees and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ckear
the agricultural land to build buildings.

To conclude
, this development has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects outweigh its drawbacks according to me.
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IELTS essay Number of people are going to abroad countries is increasing. Do the advantage of this outweigh its drawbacks.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
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  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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