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agree or disagree ? Some people believe that living in big cities is bad for people's health

agree or disagree? Some people believe that living in big cities is bad for people's health DNG5A
It is sometimes argued that urban life can undermine city dwellers ' health. I completely agree with this view. To begin with, urban citizens often suffer from a high level of stress. Since the cost of living in major cities is often far higher than that of a small town or village, many urbanites tend to work more hours in order to earn extra finance. This may leave them little option but to spend their leisure time on work. New Yorkers, for example, usually have less time spent doing what they enjoy with their family or friends due to the pressure of overwhelming workloads. These individuals therefore might develop stress - related illnesses or even psychological disorders as a result of not having enough certain amounts of relaxation. Additionally, those who reside in big cities often expose themselves to environmental pollution. A growing number of people migrate from rural to urban areas in search of work, resulting in a significant increase in the number of private vehicles used on a daily basis. This might raise the level of exhaust fumes which are likely to damage the quality of air. Besides, industrial zones tend to mushroom in many city centers, and they often dump a large number of hazardous chemicals into rivers. If the act of releasing the chemicals into the marine environment did not cease, thousands of urban citizens ' lives would be put under major threat from cholera and other waterborne diseases. In conclusion, it seems to me that city life has brought many disadvantages to urban citizens.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
life can undermine city dwellers
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
health. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
suffer from a high level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Since the cost of living in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
far higher than that of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town or village,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
urbanites tend to work more hours in order to earn extra finance. This may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to spend their leisure time on work. New Yorkers,
for example
,
usually
have less time spent doing what they enjoy with their family or friends due to the pressure of overwhelming workloads. These individuals
therefore
might develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
related illnesses or even psychological disorders
as a result
of not having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
certain amounts of relaxation.
Additionally
, those who reside in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
expose themselves to environmental pollution. A growing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate from rural to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas in search of work, resulting in a significant increase in the number of private vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on a daily basis. This might raise the level of exhaust fumes which are likely to damage the quality of air.
Besides
, industrial zones tend to mushroom in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
city centers, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
dump
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
hazardous chemicals into rivers. If the act of releasing the chemicals into the marine environment did not cease, thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
citizens
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
would
be put
under major threat from cholera and other waterborne diseases.
In conclusion
, it seems to me that city life has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
citizens.
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IELTS essay agree or disagree? Some people believe that living in big cities is bad for people's health

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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