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Numbers of road accidents are increasing day by day. Automobile companies have ensured to have better safety measures. However, cases are on the rise. Why is it so? Discuss. v.2

Numbers of road accidents are increasing day by day. Automobile companies have ensured to have better safety measures. However, cases are on the rise. Why is it so? Discuss. v. 2
The road accidents are augmenting day-to-day. Automobile industries have ensured to have good protection measures. Whereas, cases are on the increase. There are myriad reasons are stand will be discussed in the following paragraphs. To commence with, driving whilst tired or drunk is extremely dangerous. Some irresponsible drivers drink and drive, it is hazard for passengers. Furthermore, nowadays drivers are used mobile phones therefore mobile phones can be a dangerous distraction for drivers while driving. In addition, the uses of phones while driving has been banned in manifold nations. To cite an example, when driver received call so in that case accident chances are more. Apart from this, automobile companies are improve the safety features. Such as air bag, speed-limiting sensor, fire safety and so on. Moreover, various kinds of features through drivers and customers both are safe. Additionally, governments give a speed limit and those people who have not emulate the speed limit. Hence, drivers are pay the fine. For instance, automobile companies are provide safety features, which is better for drivers. In conclusion, life-saving safety features are mandatory in each vehicles and governments provide the law and regulations. As a result, it is the best way to driving for drivers.
The road accidents are augmenting day-to-day. Automobile industries have ensured to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
protection measures.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, cases are on the increase. There are myriad reasons are stand will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
whilst tired or drunk is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
irresponsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
drink and drive, it is hazard for passengers.
Furthermore
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
mobile phones
therefore
mobile phones can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
distraction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of phones while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
has
been banned
in manifold nations. To cite an example, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
received call
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in that case
accident chances are more.

Apart from this, automobile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
Consider using a past participle here: "improved".
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
features. Such as air bag, speed-limiting sensor, fire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Moreover
, various kinds of features through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
and customers both are safe.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
give a speed limit and those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "emulated".
emulate
the speed limit.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
are pay the fine.
For instance
, automobile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
features, which is better for drivers.

In conclusion
, life-saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
features are mandatory in each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "vehicle"?
vehicles
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
provide the law and regulations.
As a result
, it is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Numbers of road accidents are increasing day by day. Automobile companies have ensured to have better safety measures. However, cases are on the rise. Why is it so? Discuss. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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