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Agree or disagree? Because the world changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. v.2

Agree or disagree? Because the world changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. v. 2
It is a curious fact that, changing nature of the world affects the daily life of the people. People are not happy with their existing daily life at present compared to older days due to remarkable changes in the world. In my opinion, I strongly agree that, the people are not satisfactory at present. Admittedly, technological developments and work loads are the typical issues create mental tension in the people. Which can lead to dissatisfaction in the life. To substantiate it, an increasing number of people are suffering from anxiety and tension disorders. For example, around 12 percentage of the world populations are suffering from mental disturbances. On the other hand, good provisions and availability of resources made the life easy in current era. In pilloried times, people have been suffering from lack of things. But developments and new inventions lead to changes in progress attribute to present situation. Moreover, distance in the relationship increses more. Nowadays, people are not getting enough time to communicate with each other. So there is a gap forming within the relations. Final effect is on mind and they become unhappy. To sum up, spending time with others and listening attitudes make the people more happy. It can bring satisfactory life in the people. We have to take effort to bring happyness in the people.
It is a curious fact that, changing nature of the world affects the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are not happy with their existing daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
at present compared to older days due to remarkable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the world. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not satisfactory at present.

Admittedly
, technological developments and work loads are the typical issues create mental tension in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
can lead to dissatisfaction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To substantiate it, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from anxiety and tension disorders.
For example
, around 12 percentage of the world populations are suffering from mental disturbances.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
provisions and availability of resources made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era. In pilloried times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been suffering from lack of things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
developments and new inventions lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in progress attribute to present situation.

Moreover
, distance in the relationship
Possible spelling mistake found.
increses
more. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to communicate with each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there is a gap forming within the relations. Final effect is on mind and they become unhappy.

To sum up, spending time with others and listening attitudes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more happy. It can bring satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take effort to bring
Possible spelling mistake found.
happyness
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or disagree? Because the world changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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