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Ageing population has been increasing. What problems and solutions

Ageing population has been increasing. What problems and solutions VyR7w
These days, an increase in ageing populations has been a concern in most industrialised nations. Despite the negative effects caused by this trend, there are several solutions to tackle these problems. Due to the fact that people can expect to live longer than ever before, numerous related issues could be anticipated. The main problem is that there are more people of retirement age who are eligible for pension. As a result, the government will receive less money from taxes, in other words, there is a larger burden on the young adults. In addition, the older people become, the more the governments need to provide them with high-quality healthcare facilities such as nursing homes, hospitals. Besides, young adults also have to look after their older relatives. Regardless of these matters, the governments can take steps to mitigate the consequences. The first measure is increasing the retirement age, from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people at this age have the capability to continue their productive working life. The government also should encourage immigration so the young adults would have more opportunities to get a job and be able to pay taxes. Another measure is that the national budget should be taken from other areas to spend on pivotal public services that serve the older citizens. In conclusion, although ageing populations have some adverse bearings on both individuals and societies, these problems would be improved with appropriate measures.
These days, an increase in
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
populations has been a concern in most
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
nations. Despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects caused by this trend, there are several solutions to tackle these problems. Due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, numerous related issues could
be anticipated
. The main problem is that there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of retirement age who are eligible for pension.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will receive less money from taxes,
in other words
, there is a larger burden on the young adults.
In addition
, the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become, the more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
need to provide them with high-quality healthcare facilities such as nursing homes, hospitals.
Besides
, young adults
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look after their older relatives. Regardless of these matters, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can take steps to mitigate the consequences. The
first
measure is increasing the retirement age, from 65 to 70. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at this age have the capability to continue their productive working life. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
should encourage immigration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the young adults would have more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job and be able to pay taxes. Another measure is that the national budget should
be taken
from other areas to spend on pivotal public services that serve the older citizens.
In conclusion
, although
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
populations have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse bearings on both individuals and societies, these problems would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
with appropriate measures.
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IELTS essay Ageing population has been increasing. What problems and solutions

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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