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After the prison sentence, criminals reccomit again

After the prison sentence, criminals reccomit again k5a7W
That is possible that, after prison judgement, offenders commit crime again. It occurs for a variety of reasons, however solutions exist to solve the problem. There are a number of reasons behind this movement. The principal reason is related to the society. There a dozens of offenders in the world, however only 30 percent of them are able to work in the job. Although, they have a job and they get salary, but there is a enormous pressure on them. Virtually, after the prison most of them work as a labor and all burdens of the job are on their shoulders. Society do not accept offenders easily, that is not only related to the job, but also it associated their even family. Government does not take any measures to provide prisoners with job. Some private companies are not willing to get hired them, therefore, they avoid it that they will do it again. Apart from this reason, another main reason is that prisoners cannot adapt to the normal life again. In prison, there are some rules that all of them are obliged to follow these orders. There is a regime like nourish time, bedtime, outside time and so on. However in real life there are not these kind of regimes and you can do anything whenever you want. Thus, they try to do anything and crimes also belong it. Nevertheless, there is a thought in their mind that, in the worst case they will come back to the prison again. Since, they get accustomed their obligations and they recommit again. On the other hand, all problems have own solutions, and also there are a number of solution that surpass these problems. Firstly, that is not only prisoners’ problems, that is problem of all society, hence no one is not insured from this situation. All people have to look at the world from their places, they have to put themselves in their place. So, society have to give a second chance to them. Because, they were punished there. Their family should not turn away from their member. In this case, they can get used to the normal life again. On the one hand, there is also another solution behind this issue. It is a kind of thing that only government and other private organizations are able to do that. They must create some agencies which will help people to enlighten. They have to illustrate the right way, and distract their opinon from bad thoughts. Like reading related books and films that in that case how it affects to their family. Their children can face some difficulties at school because of them. By the help of these organization, they can stay away evil deeds. In conclusion, although there are a number of reasons for prisoners to recommit again, whereas solutions are available and if all society try to assist to offenders, they can escape from evil deeds and crimes. Finally, our society can continue their life normally.
That is
possible that, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
judgement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
commit crime again. It occurs for a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
exist to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this movement.

The principal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is related
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. There
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a dozen" or simply "dozens"?
a dozens
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
in the world,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
30 percent of them are able to work in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Although, they have a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
enormous pressure on them.
Virtually
, after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
most of them work as a labor and all burdens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are on their shoulders.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
do not accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
easily
,
that is
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it associated their even family.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
does not take any measures to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are not willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired them,
therefore
, they avoid it that they will do it again.

Apart from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, another main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
cannot adapt to the normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
again.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that all of them
are obliged
to follow these orders. There is a regime like nourish time, bedtime, outside time and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
there are not
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of regimes and you can do anything whenever you want.
Thus
, they try to do anything and crimes
also
belong it.
Nevertheless
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in their mind that, in the worst case they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
again. Since, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accustomed their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
obligations and
they recommit again.

On the other hand
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
, and
also
there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
that surpass these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
,
that is
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
hence
no one is not insured from this situation. All
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look at the world from their places, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put themselves in their place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give a second chance to them.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, they
were punished
there. Their family should not turn away from their member.
In this case
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
again.

On the one hand, there is
also
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
behind this issue. It is a kind of thing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and other private organizations are able to do that. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
agencies which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to enlighten. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
illustrate the right way, and distract their
Possible spelling mistake found.
opinon
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thoughts. Like reading related books and films that
in that case
how it affects to their family. Their children can face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of them. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Did you mean "this organization" or "these organizations"?
these organization
, they can stay away evil deeds.

In conclusion
, although there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
to recommit again, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
are available and if all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
try to assist to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
, they can escape from evil deeds and crimes.
Finally
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
normally
.
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IELTS essay After the prison sentence, criminals reccomit again

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
495 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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