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after school go to work in a long distance before the university studies

after school go to work in a long distance before the university studies Bgr6m
nava days students after completing their schools travel long and spend time working in a new place rather than going to the university's directly will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this statement on the one hand when students after school's travel to unknown place and work under different forms it not only help them improve their social skills but also gave a good work experience which helps them to obtain a good career in life for example if in this modern era when students apply for a job students with work experience are more likely to get placed as fresh as the students must have certain skills set top 10 jobs and by working after schools they obtain these skills veterinary age of the students also increases and company prefer students with more practical knowledge that theoretical knowledge on the other hand there are many disadvantage to the system students are exposed to work at younger ages their interest towards the studies would do would go down and this at this stage most of the students would not continue their studies at some time there main aim changes to making money which would badly affect their life for example where a student stops their studies and continue their work they would not have enough theoretical knowledge and would would be able to improve in their work there would also remain at the same position of work and would not have any salary hike to conclude work experience would definitely help to get a good job in a short run but only the please help to build a strong career
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nava
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
after completing their schools travel long and spend time working in a new place
rather
than going to the university's
directly
will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this statement

on the one hand when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
after school's travel to unknown place and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gave a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to obtain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career in life
for example
if in this modern era when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
apply for a job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
placed as fresh as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
set top 10 jobs and by working after schools they obtain these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
veterinary age of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
increases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with more practical knowledge that theoretical knowledge

on the other hand
there are
Possible agreement error. The noun disadvantage seems to be countable; consider using: "many disadvantages".
many disadvantage
to the system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at younger ages their interest towards the studies would do would go down and this at this stage most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would not continue their studies at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time there main aim
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to making money which would
badly
affect their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
for example
where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
their studies and continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they would not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
theoretical knowledge and
Possible typo: you repeated a word
would would
be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
there would
also
remain at the same position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and would not have any salary hike

to conclude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience would definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in a short run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to build a strong career
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IELTS essay after school go to work in a long distance before the university studies

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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