Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

today more people are overweighed than before. what are the primary causes. what measures can be taken to overcome this problem

today more people are overweighed than before. what are the primary causes. what measures can be taken to overcome this problem qREpG
Some people believe that, nowadays, more people are obese than before. In my opinion, it is true that, majority of the masses are overweighed than earlier times. These are due to our inactive lifestyle and junk food consumption. In this modern society, most of the people are leading a sedentary lifestyle, which in turn lead them to a lot of health problems, especially obesity. Due to the busy schedules of work, many of the people does not get enough time to spend for physical exercises like yoga and Zumba dance. Hence, because of the lack of such exercises, calories in their body is not getting any chances to get burn away. Consequently, it direct them to become fatty. For instance, recent studies have shown that more than 50% of people are obese due to the lack of active exercises. In addition, modern kind of junk food consumption also leads to the condition of overweight. For example, recently studied reports describe that, today most of the families, including from children to adult, suffer from obesity, which is due to the fact that they prefer to eat unhealthy cuisines. A plethora of measures can be adopted to prevent obesity. Firstly, people should stop eating unhealthy foods from outside. Secondly, everyday they should discover extra time between their works or studies, to do certain physical activities. Finally, our government can also take certain steps to control this unhealthy condition. They can implement more taxes for unhealthy foods and fizzy drinks. This in turn, discourage the masses to buy such items. Also, they can invest more funds for constructing outdoor stadiums, parks and health club, which in turn could help the people to do healthy activities more conveniently. To conclude, unhealthy lifestyle and eating of unhealthy food products are the major reasons for the obesity in people. This can be controlled by each of the individual by doing healthy exercises and eating healthy cuisines. Also, our government can also take few measures to protect the people from this serious condition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that, nowadays, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are obese than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In my opinion, it is true that, majority of the masses are
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweighed
than earlier times. These are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to our inactive lifestyle and junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption.

In this modern society, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are leading a sedentary lifestyle, which in turn lead them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
health problems,
especially
obesity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the busy schedules of work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to spend for physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
like yoga and Zumba dance.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
, calories in their body is not getting any chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
burn away.
Consequently
, it
Did you mean "directs"?
direct
them to become fatty.
For instance
, recent studies have shown that more than 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the lack of active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
.
In addition
, modern kind of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption
also
leads to the condition of overweight.
For example
, recently studied reports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
most of the families, including from children to adult, suffer from obesity, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact that they prefer to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
cuisines.

A plethora of measures can
be adopted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
obesity.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from outside.
Secondly
, everyday they should discover extra time between their works or studies, to do certain physical activities.
Finally
, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
also
take certain steps to control this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
condition. They can implement more taxes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and fizzy drinks. This in turn, discourage the masses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such items.
Also
, they can invest more funds for constructing outdoor stadiums, parks and health club, which in turn could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do healthy activities more
conveniently
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyle and eating of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products are the major reasons for the obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This can
be controlled
by each of the individual by doing healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and eating healthy cuisines.
Also
, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
also
take few measures to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from this serious condition.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay today more people are overweighed than before. what are the primary causes. what measures can be taken to overcome this problem

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    How to deal with traffic jams
    In the world of globalization which every minutes is being count, it can't deny that people are living in rush all day and night. People love convenient, however they normally forget that in every breathing, they also create a serious problem such as traffic jams especially those who live in large c...
  • 5band
    today, many mothers take care of the family and do not go to work. some people believes that the government should pay them their salaries. D O YOU agree or disagree?
    Nowadays, a plethora of mothers are not able to go to work, as they are taking care of their families. A number of people argues that such women should get their salaries from the legal authority. I strongly agree with this argument due to certain reasons. Today, majority of the women after their ma...
  • 5.5band
    Innovation has altered the Cinema industry because of the proliferation of virtual reality and 3D movies.
    Innovation has altered the Cinema industry because of the proliferation of virtual reality and 3D movies. Technology allows accessibility to mainstream services through the use of handheld devices and television. Virtual reality and 3D digitization can present authentic images, which can be influent...
  • 5.5band
    Who must pay all tuition fees
    Who must pay all tuition fees There are different views about who should pay the fees of for university education. Some people believe that students should pay all tuition fees, whereas others believe that the government must provide study grants to the student. Good intro – concise and to the poin...
  • 6band
    who should pay intuition fees, students or the government
    Many people insist that the educational expense of university graduates should be borne by themselves. According to them, when someone studies at university it benefits them more than it benefits the community or nation. However, I firmly believe that it is useful for individuals and society and hen...
  • 6band
    is necessary death penalty
    Many people believe that death penalty is necessary to keep security system efficient in the society. While there are some negative aspects of capital punishment, I agree with the view that without it we will become more vulnerable to violence. Death penalty can be considered unsuitable punishment ...