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after online and tv invention Radio is not used. to what extent do you agree?

after online and tv invention Radio is not used. ebn7A
Prior to the development of online platforms and televisions, audio transmission alone was the source of entertainment and news. Now that several platforms have become available, it is assumed by some that the radio is of not much need. On the contrary, I believe that the possibility of withdrawal of radio usage is far in the future. On the one hand, with the advent of various news and entertainment sources, the popularity of radio has seen a downfall. People opt to read or watch news on their mobile rather than listen to a radio. Although, this is an efficient way to gather information on interested and relevant articles and hear music, it not always convenient to do so. For instance, one will not be able to read and grasp more information while multitasking but can do so while listening. On the other hand, however, there are huge number of people who seek to be updated with news while driving or working. Radio system installed in cars are a handy way to catchup with statistics such as whether forecast, traffic updates and enjoy music as well. For example, the FM station ‘Red FM’ is extremely famous for the live updates of traffic status in busy roads at peak hours. Thus, increasing the scope of radio use. In conclusion, it is an undeniable fact that the use of radio is not as popular as it was when it was invented, but it is also true that the use of this broadcasting technology is not on the verge of extinction.
Prior to the development of online platforms and televisions, audio transmission alone was the source of entertainment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that several platforms have become available, it
is assumed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is of not much need.
On the contrary
, I believe that the possibility of withdrawal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
usage is far in the future.

On the one hand, with the advent of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and entertainment sources, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a downfall.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
opt to read or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on their mobile
rather
than listen to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
. Although, this is an efficient way to gather information on interested and relevant articles and hear music, it not always convenient to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
For instance
, one will not be able to read and grasp more information while multitasking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
while listening.

On the other hand
,
however
, there are huge number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who seek to
be updated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
while driving or working.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Radio
system installed in cars are a handy way to
Possible spelling mistake found.
catchup
with statistics such as whether forecast, traffic updates and enjoy music
as well
.
For example
, the FM station ‘Red FM’ is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
updates of traffic status in busy roads at peak hours.
Thus
, increasing the scope of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

In conclusion
, it is an undeniable fact that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is not as popular as it was when it
was invented
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
true that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this broadcasting technology is not on the verge of extinction.
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IELTS essay after online and tv invention Radio is not used.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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