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The effects of video games to youngsters

The effects of video games to youngsters OyB5d
In this day and age, with the rapid developments of the Internet, many individuals are concerned about the popularity of video games which are the passion of the majority of youngsters. This essay will expose serious downside and outline significant measures to deal with it. One of the most prominent disadvantages of excessive gaming is health issues. Children who spend a long time in front of the computer’s screen without parents’ supervision may be had some hazardous illness such as: eye strain, obesity or damage to posture. This is because they do not go outside to work out regularly and gradually become more slothful, owing to games. In the long run, it will have an eclectic mix of negative consequences to their future, especially children's well-being. In addition, if adolescents are engrossed in attractive video games too much, they will be got the abysmal influences on academic performance. For instance, many students are vacant and distracted in the lesson because they devote their mind to thinking about the games. Furthermore, they do not fulfil any homework which is extremely vital for their learning. Thus, they will not be able to gain any knowledge from lectures and it is easy to comprehend why they get a bad result in school exams. There is an efficient measure that can prevent bad effects of video games on children's health by stimulating students to hang out with friends such as: attend useful extracurricular activities, do exercises, play soccer and go to the cinema. Such activities not only diminish time using the Internet but also improve friendships. Moreover, school and parents should incentivize their children to play some educational games as it is one of the best ways to make progress in adolescents’ academic performance. This solution allows students to brain training and avoid playing pointless games as well. As a result, they will be confident to pass an exam with flying colours and become the pride of the family. In conclusion, playing video games leads to a variety of troubles, including health problems and poor academic performance. We can avert them by encouraging children to take part in practical activities and play educational games.
In this day and age, with the rapid developments of the Internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
are concerned
about the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which are the passion of the majority of youngsters. This essay will expose serious downside and outline significant measures to deal with it.

One of the most prominent disadvantages of excessive gaming is health issues. Children who spend a long time in front of the computer’s screen without parents’ supervision may
be had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hazardous illness such as: eye strain, obesity or damage to posture. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not go outside to work out
regularly
and
gradually
become more slothful, owing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. In the long run, it will have an eclectic mix of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
their future,
especially
children's well-being.
In addition
, if adolescents
are engrossed
in attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
too much, they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the abysmal influences on academic performance.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students are vacant and distracted in the lesson
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they devote their mind to thinking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Furthermore
, they do not fulfil any homework which is
extremely
vital for their learning.
Thus
, they will not be able to gain any knowledge from lectures and it is easy to comprehend why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
result in school exams.

There is an efficient measure that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on children's health by stimulating students to hang out with friends such as: attend useful extracurricular activities, do exercises, play soccer and go to the cinema. Such activities not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
diminish time using the Internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
friendships.
Moreover
, school and parents should incentivize their children to play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as it is one of the best ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progress in adolescents’ academic performance. This solution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
students to brain training and avoid playing pointless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as well
.
As a result
, they will be confident to pass an exam with flying
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
and become the pride of the family.

In conclusion
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
leads to a variety of troubles, including health problems and poor academic performance. We can avert them by encouraging children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in practical activities and play educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay The effects of video games to youngsters

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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