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Advice friend for her first time camping holiday

Advice friend for her first time camping holiday m3knr
Dear Suzy, How's everything? I'm glad to hear that you'll have an amazing camping holiday for the first time in this summer. I'm very excited for you and can't help myself to share my first time camping experiences with you. Camping holiday is the fantastic idea especially in the summer time. Most of the people like to go camping on summer because is it the best time to enjoy the life after their hard-working day. One of the reason you should go camping on summer is you will see many beautiful scenery landscape, the view of falling leaves and many adventure which you will never forget. Also you can make a lot of new friends from difference places during the camping holiday. That will give you an understanding of different cultures and about the nature that you have never know before. Furthermore, you can enjoy some of the social activities that are interesting and will make you happy. Likewise, everything has pros and cons, based on my experience here are the list of the activities that you need to take care and avoid during the camping. First, as soon as you going out without applying the sun cream, your skin will be get sun burn easily if you don't. Apply suncream, wearing hat and staying under the shadow will help to prevent your skin from damages. Second, during the camping you can get ill easily because unprecedented changes of weather therefore you need to bring medicines and also don't forgot to bring raincoat just in case. Actually, I wanted to join camping with you but unfortunately, I need to go to New York on that day to meet with my Dad. I hope we can go together next time. The last things I want to tell you is, enjoy your camping holiday buddy. See you very soon. With love, Yuki
Dear Suzy, How's everything? I'm glad to hear that you'll have an amazing camping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
for the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
. I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited for you and can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
myself to share my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
camping experiences with you. Camping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
is the fantastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
especially
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to go camping on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
is it the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy the life after their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working day. One of the reason you should go camping on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
is you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scenery landscape, the view of falling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
and
Possible agreement error. The noun adventure seems to be countable; consider using: "many adventures".
many adventure
which you will never forget.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new friends from difference places during the camping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
. That will give you an understanding of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and about the nature that you have never
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "known".
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Furthermore
, you can enjoy
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
social activities that are interesting and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you happy.
Likewise
, everything has pros and cons, based on my experience here are the list of the activities that you need to take care and avoid during the camping.
First
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as
Did you mean "you're going", "you are going", or "you were going"?
you going
out without applying the sun cream, your skin will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sun burn
easily
if you don't. Apply
Possible spelling mistake found.
suncream
, wearing hat and staying under the shadow will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
your skin from damages. Second, during the camping you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ill
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
unprecedented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of weather
therefore
you need to bring medicines and
also
don't forgot to bring raincoat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in case. Actually, I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
camping with you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, I need to go to New York on that day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with my Dad. I hope we can go together
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The last things I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you is, enjoy your camping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
buddy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
See
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Yuki
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IELTS essay Advice friend for her first time camping holiday

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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