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advertising succeeds in convincing people to purchase things

advertising succeeds in convincing people to purchase things YwA85
Some claim that advertising succeeds in convincing people to purchase things while some argue advertising is so often used such that people are not affected by them. I believe advertisements can play a significant role in purchasing decisions although they are prevalent in the market. The view of advertisements making people buy things can be considered as a fact examining their effects on human psychology. It is common to observe that specific advertisements are specially designed to manipulate people’s feelings and change their behavior. If people can relate to advertisements emotionally, they are likely to purchase the products. Exemplifying, Coca-Cola advertisements change the mood of people by creating a friendly and pleasant environment in which people consume Coca-Cola. Hence, people tend to think drinking a cola would increase their joy, and they buy them. In short, if the advertisement succeeds in manipulating emotions, people are likely to purchase products. On the other hand, some assert that advertisements are no longer effective in changing people’s choices since they are commonly used in the market and people do not care about them anymore. In terms of the prevalence of advertisements, this view is right due to the fact that it is possible to encounter advertisements for each product in today’s world. However, advertisements can succeed in having people pay attention if they provide interesting information. For example, Samsung advertisements could be quite interesting because they mention their innovations in their advertisements. In short, if companies provide extraordinary information in their advertisements, people tend to pay attention. To conclude, although some argue people do not direct their attention to advertisements, they can be quite advantageous for companies if they achieve changing people’s feelings and provide interesting facts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
claim that advertising succeeds in convincing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
such that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by them. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can play a significant role in purchasing decisions although they are prevalent in the market.

The view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things can
be considered
as a fact examining their effects on human psychology. It is common to observe that specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
specially
designed to manipulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
feelings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their behavior. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can relate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
emotionally
, they are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the products. Exemplifying, Coca-Cola
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the mood of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by creating a friendly and pleasant environment in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume Coca-Cola.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
drinking a cola would increase their joy, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. In short, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
succeeds in manipulating emotions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
products.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are no longer effective in changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
choices since they are
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the market and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not care about them anymore. In terms of the prevalence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, this view is right due to the fact that it is possible to encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
for each product in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can succeed in having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay attention if they provide interesting information.
For example
, Samsung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
could be quite interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they mention their innovations in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. In short, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide extraordinary information in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to pay attention.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not direct their attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, they can be quite advantageous for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
if they achieve changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
feelings and provide interesting facts.
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IELTS essay advertising succeeds in convincing people to purchase things

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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