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In what way has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development

In what way has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development nXWPo
In the modern day people can not go on a day without their phone or laptop and although the evolution of technology has helped the humanity a lot, the disadvantages outnumber the pros of the ''internet world''. Now with the technology developing as faster as ever for the last few years, the people's habbits have changed too, especially their way of interaction with one another. Firstly, thanks to the internet and devices it is now easier than ever to communicate with another person, having access to almost every information at the tip of your finger. Sending and recieving messages and calls takes very little time and now you can reach someone from almost anywhere and anytime. More than keeping in touch with your friends and family online, the internet allows individuals to meet new people and make new friends online, from all around the globe. Although there are a lot of positive traits, they can not compensate for the negative ones, that have led people to become less sociable, more superficial and lazy and disconnect from the outside world. Even though it may be a good feeling to know that you have a mini computer in your pocket that can do almost anything, it encourages you to settle and interact less with the nature and the real world. People do not have the relationships they used to, because being behind a screen hides your true reactions and emotions and people become distant with each other in that way. Moreover, being able to reach others online has made the society less active and people do not see each other anymore, or not as much as they used to and in that way they lose their connection. Overall the evolution of technology has brought an involution to the society and peolpe are not as close to each other as they used to do, the internet creating an imaginary barrier between them that connects them to the technology and disconnects them from the real world and other humans.
In the modern day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not go on a day without their phone or laptop and although the evolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the humanity a lot, the disadvantages outnumber the pros of the ''internet world''.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
developing as
Did you mean "fast"?
faster
as ever for the last few years, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
Possible spelling mistake found.
habbits
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
too,
especially
their way of interaction with one another.

Firstly
, thanks to the internet and devices it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
easier than ever to communicate with another person, having access to almost every information at the tip of your finger. Sending and
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieving
messages and calls takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
you can reach someone from almost anywhere and anytime. More than keeping in touch with your friends and family online, the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends online, from all around the globe.

Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
traits, they can not compensate for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones, that have led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become less sociable, more superficial and lazy and disconnect from the outside world.
Even though
it may be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
feeling to know that you have a mini computer in your pocket that can do almost anything, it encourages you to settle and interact less with the nature and the real world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not have the relationships they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
being behind a screen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hides
your true reactions and emotions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become distant with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in that way.
Moreover
, being able to reach others online has made the society less active and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
anymore, or not as much as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to and in that way they lose their connection.

Overall
the evolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has brought an involution to the society and
Possible spelling mistake found.
peolpe
are not as close to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do, the internet creating an imaginary barrier between them that connects them to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and disconnects them from the real world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
humans.
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IELTS essay In what way has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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