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Advertising is good way to persuading us to buy things or not.

Advertising is good way to persuading us to buy things or not. lj3wX
I think that people do not get big effect from advertising. That why some people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. However, it effect to a opportunity that we can not select one thing to buy, and the opportunity often see in every day. So, advertising has big effect to people to buy the things. I agree with the opinion which people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. I have two reasons why I agree with the opinion. First, I think that children often remember about advertising which is showed in TV. For example, my sister always watching TV after coming back from school, so she can imitate commercial on TV. Furthermore, when my family go shopping with my sister, she always want to buy things which she remember on TV. Second reason is that advertising give us a lot of chances to know the products. Very simple example is Chinese app. We did not know about Chinese app in three years ago. If we do not have a long time to choice one things, I think that we always choice from the impression. And the impression is coming from many ways. But common way to get impression is advertising. It is because there are a lot of place that we can see the advertisings. However a lot of people recognize about it from unique advertising. Therefore a lot of things are get profit from using advertising.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
effect from advertising. That why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that we no longer pay attention to it.
However
, it
Did you mean "effects"?
effect
to
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
opportunity that we can not select one thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
, and the opportunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, advertising has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
effect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the things.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that advertising is
extremely
successful at persuading us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things. I have two reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion.
First
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
remember about advertising which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
in TV.
For example
, my sister always watching TV after coming back from school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she can imitate commercial on TV.
Furthermore
, when my family go shopping with my sister, she always
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things which she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "remembers", "remembered".
remember
on TV. Second reason is that advertising give us a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of chances to know the products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
simple example is Chinese app. We did not know about Chinese app in three years ago. If we do not have a long time to choice
Don't use the number 'one' with plural words. Did you mean "one thing", "a thing", or simply "things"?
one things
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that we always choice from the impression. And the impression is coming from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
common way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
impression is advertising. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of place that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
recognize about it from unique advertising.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
profit from using advertising.
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IELTS essay Advertising is good way to persuading us to buy things or not.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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