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Advertising is so common that it is being highly used now. Why is so? Do you think this is positive or negative?

Advertising is so common that it is being highly used now. Why is so? Do you think this is positive or negative? dol0d
In a modern era, using of advertising is expanding much more, so advertising industry is widespread. In fact, this situation reveals not only positive, but also negative sides. The following essay will present all the merits and demerits. On the one hand, there are lots of advantages of advertisement. The first benefit is that, advertising helps people to know any new products and to be informed about daily news. Furthermore, advertisement gives chance to collect enough information about what interests us. Secondly, because of advertising representatives of various speciality can distribute their products, publications and activities within the community. This may develop their industry as well as workers can expand the income from advertisement. Third, advertising demonstrate not only new products, but also opportunity to find job vacancies, education centre for applicants, tourism agencies and all that related to diverse sphere. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of using advertising. First of all, some organization or enterprise’s representatives demonstrate their produce or organization in advertisement unrealistic, that is, what is depicted in advertising is not provided on products. This is a direct deception of people which affects negatively on consumers. Moreover, it aims to persuade people that buying a product will make them happier. As a result, sometimes humans purchase production that unnecessary for them. Besides that, advertisers often aim their marketing at children. Children can easily be influenced by advertisement. As a consequence, they put pressure on parents to buy them things. This situation may impact negatively to their life. It is my belief that, the using advertisement and its distribution has benefits and drawbacks. Companies should demonstrate to residents a real advertisement and stop lie people. Advertising should be useful and necessary for life of individuals. Besides that, advertisers ought to think not only about their budget or rating, but also benefits of consumers. In conclusion, at present advertising is playing essential role in life of all people. It is my point that this phenomenon is negative as well as positive.
In a modern era, using of advertising is expanding much more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advertising industry is widespread. In fact, this situation reveals not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides. The following essay will present all the merits and demerits.

On the one hand, there are lots of advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. The
first
benefit is that, advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know any new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and to
be informed
about daily news.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
gives chance to collect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information about what interests us.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advertising representatives of various
Possible spelling mistake. 'speciality' is British English.
speciality
can distribute their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, publications and activities within the community. This may develop their industry
as well
as workers can expand the income from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. Third, advertising demonstrate not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
opportunity to find job vacancies, education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for applicants, tourism agencies and all that related to diverse sphere.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of using advertising.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organization or enterprise’s representatives demonstrate their produce or organization in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
unrealistic,
that is
, what
is depicted
in advertising is not provided on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This is a direct deception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which affects
negatively
on consumers.
Moreover
, it aims to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happier.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
production that unnecessary for them.
Besides
that, advertisers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
aim their marketing at children. Children can
easily
be influenced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. As a consequence, they put pressure on parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them things. This situation may impact
negatively
to their life.

It is my belief that, the using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and its distribution has benefits and drawbacks.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
should demonstrate to residents a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
lie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Advertising should be useful and necessary for life of individuals.
Besides
that, advertisers ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about their budget or rating,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
benefits of consumers.

In conclusion
, at present advertising is playing essential role in life of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

It is my point that this phenomenon is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
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IELTS essay Advertising is so common that it is being highly used now. Why is so? Do you think this is positive or negative?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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