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Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. v.5

Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. v. 5
An advertisement is a branch of mass communication that provides information about the products and services offered by different companies as well as about country for its culture, society and geography. In my opinion apart from boosting the economy, it puts a multidimensional description of that area. I do agree that advertisement narrates much useful description about that region. In modern era advertisement is a necessary tool to sell the products.   Apart from its utility in energising the sale of products, it has a lot other benefits. Just observing the advertisements for few days one can estimate the amount of business, social norms, costumes, levels of education, language and history of a certain population group or of a nation. Involvement of any sports star in advertisement tells us it is the favourite sports of this Nation. Fashion magazines highlight garments that are vague in that society.   Shooting of scenes is shown in background of historical places, hill-stations and tourist places. These clips provide information about those places. Few advertisements are made only for the sake of promoting business. Actors are paid high for international tours and shooting is performed on world renowned places. The information in this strategy is mostly exaggerated and tried to be linked with culture and social norms of the community. In conclusion, an advertisement is a source of knowledge to a person living there and also to people who are seeing it from other countries.   This subgroup of mass communication is a good tool to get useful information about a particular country.
An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a branch of mass communication that provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the products and services offered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
as well
as about country for its culture, society and geography. In my opinion apart from boosting the economy, it puts a multidimensional description of that area. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
narrates much useful description about that region.

In modern era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a necessary tool to sell the products.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Apart from its utility in
Possible spelling mistake. 'energising' is British English.
energising
the sale of products, it has a
It seems that there's a missing preposition after ''.
lot
other benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
observing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
for few days one can estimate the amount of business, social norms, costumes, levels of education, language and history of a certain population group or of a nation. Involvement of any sports star in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us it is the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
sports of this Nation. Fashion magazines highlight garments that are vague in that society.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Shooting of scenes
is shown
in background of historical places, hill-stations and tourist places. These clips provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about those places.

Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the sake of promoting business. Actors
are paid
high for international tours and shooting
is performed
on world renowned places. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in this strategy is
mostly
exaggerated and tried to
be linked
with culture and social norms of the community.

In conclusion
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a source of knowledge to a person living there and
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are seeing it from other countries.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This subgroup of mass communication is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
tool to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about a particular country.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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