Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

advertisement's influence

advertisement's influence pXQ30
Due to high competition between companies, consumers face more advertisements nowadays. I entirely believe that advertisements influence client behavior by exploiting lack of peoples' experience and manipulating their emotions; therefore, governments should increase society's awareness and impose extra tax to protect consumers from fake advertisements. Firstly, In spite of the fact that many educated people are unaffected by fake advertisements, some advertisers still reckon on ignorance of certain category of people in specific fields. For instance, many advertisements try to convince old people with a certain technology because those old people don't have sufficient knowledge about it. Moreover, while vast majority of people behave emotionally, minor percentage control their behavior logically. Once the advertisers merchandise their products as a form of supporting cancer-diseased people, they will find immense blockbuster at their goods. Secondly, fake advertisement is a sever trouble, and the authorities have to take a strict measures to alleviate it otherwise its consequences would be harmful for individuals and societies. In the light of this, increasing awareness between people would raise people aptitude toward any kind of scam and mitigate its effect; however, governments are compelled to take much more strict decisions to culminate this dilemma. Hence, imposing extra tax would decline advertisement influence on people because any company won't make an advertisement unless it was sure that this product could haul peoples' attention. In conclusion, many people face many advertisements nowadays due to high market's competition. People are easily to be convinced because many of them are illiterate, and people in general are emotional. Governments should increase society awareness and issue new tax to deal with this phenomenon.
Due to high competition between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, consumers face more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
nowadays. I
entirely
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
influence client behavior by exploiting lack of peoples' experience and manipulating their emotions;
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should increase society's awareness and impose extra tax to protect consumers from fake advertisements.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaffected
by fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertisers
still
reckon on ignorance of certain category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in specific fields.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
try to convince
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a certain technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't have sufficient knowledge about it.
Moreover
, while
It seems that an article is missing.
vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behave
emotionally
, minor percentage control their behavior
logically
. Once the advertisers merchandise their products as a form of supporting cancer-diseased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they will find immense blockbuster at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

Secondly
, fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a sever trouble, and the authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take a strict
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "measure"?
measures
to alleviate it
otherwise
its consequences would be harmful for individuals and societies. In the light of this, increasing awareness between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aptitude toward any kind of scam and mitigate its effect;
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are compelled
to take much more strict decisions to culminate this dilemma.
Hence
, imposing extra tax would decline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
unless it was sure that this product could haul peoples' attention.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
nowadays due to high market's competition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
easily
to
be convinced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are illiterate, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in general
are emotional.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should increase society awareness and issue new tax to deal with this phenomenon.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay advertisement's influence

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • advertisement's influence