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Sharing information with restriction

Sharing information with restriction 560RN
Sharing information has become quite common in the academic and business worlds. While some people argue that it is better to share knowledge without any restriction, others think it should be shared under certain circumstances, and to some extent I agree with the first opinion. Many people think that sharing knowledge should be at the highest level. First, it can save a lot of time for researchers. Carrying out scientific research can be time-consuming, and it needs lots of effort. If the information is widely available, it will not require everyone to conduct research separately, and they can benefit from the result of other researchers. Consequently, they save time, and it is an opportunity for scientific advancements. Secondly, sharing information freely can help people who don't have enough money to do research. For instance, performing medical experiments needs lots of money or a research grant. If the information were published freely, numerous physicians from poor countries can access the results, and it can be life-saving. On the contrary, many believe sharing information should be restricted. First, some scientists maybe lose their motivation since they cannot make money from their work. They spend lots of time to achieve a crucial breakthrough. If they are not satisfied with their result, it will discourage them. Secondly, some information is strictly confidential. For instance, knowledge about nuclear energy should not be accessible to terrorism. It can be extremely dangerous for humanity if they can acquire the knowledge. Another example is companies that need to keep their business information secret in order to keep themselves ahead of others and prevent losing money. In conclusion, many people, including me, believe information should be available for the public. However, others argue sharing information should be limited. (291words)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has become quite common in the academic and business worlds. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it is better to share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
without any restriction, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should
be shared
under certain circumstances, and to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
opinion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
should be at the highest level.
First
, it can save a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time for researchers. Carrying out scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
can be time-consuming, and it needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of effort. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
widely
available, it will not require everyone to conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
separately
, and they can benefit from the result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
researchers.
Consequently
, they save time, and it is an opportunity for scientific advancements.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
freely
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
For instance
, performing medical experiments needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of money or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
grant. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
were published
freely
, numerous physicians from poor countries can access the results, and it can be life-saving.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be restricted
.
First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientists maybe lose their motivation since they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money from their work. They spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of time to achieve a crucial breakthrough. If they are not satisfied with their result, it will discourage them.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
strictly
confidential.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about nuclear energy should not be accessible to terrorism. It can be
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for humanity if they can acquire the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Another example is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
secret in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves ahead of others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
losing money.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including me, believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be available for the public.
However
, others argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be limited
. (291words)
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IELTS essay Sharing information with restriction

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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