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Advantage and disadvantages of experience in workplace

Advantage and disadvantages of experience in workplace 6xGWK
These days one of the most job requirements which they always require it is experience. However, l personally think that the benefits of being experienced rather than being knowledgeable outweigh the drawbacks. The main benefit of experience is the employees already have skills which are required to work. For example, the person who works in marketing is know very well about how to market the products and attract customers. While, if the workers are only being knowledgeable maybe can’t apply the knowledge to do their job. Another advantage, is that experience makes the work environment more comfortable and efficient because the employees know how to deal with each other. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages for having experience without the knowledge. Firstly, the person who have experience knows a superficial information about his job because he didn’t study about in a depth. Secondly, if the companies and most of the workplaces are being employed people having experience then will decrease jobs opportunities for graduated students and will be no value for graduation certificates. In conclusion, both of knowledge and experience are important if we want to have effective work environment. However, I believe that today experience is more beneficial.
These days one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requirements which they always require it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
However
, l
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the benefits of
being experienced
rather
than being knowledgeable outweigh the drawbacks.

The main benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is the employees already have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, the person who works in marketing is
Did you mean "now" or "no"?
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well about how to market the products and attract customers. While, if the workers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
being knowledgeable maybe can’t apply the knowledge to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Another advantage, is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment more comfortable and efficient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the employees know how to deal with each other.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages for having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
without the knowledge.
Firstly
, the person who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
knows
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'a' is probably wrong.
a superficial information
about his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he didn’t study about in a depth.
Secondly
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and most of the workplaces are
being employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
then will decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
opportunities for graduated students and will be no value for graduation certificates.

In conclusion
, both of knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
if we want to have effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment.
However
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is more beneficial.
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IELTS essay Advantage and disadvantages of experience in workplace

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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