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Sfudenfs in school should leorn ocodemic subjecls ond poss exorns. Ofher skltls such os cookery, dressmoking ond woodwork con be leornl well from fomily ond friends. Do you ogree or disogree?

Sfudenfs in school should leorn ocodemic subjecls ond poss exorns. Ofher skltls such os cookery, dressmoking ond woodwork con be leornl well from fomily ond friends. Do you ogree or disogree? lj3Nb
I disagree with the given statement, which says that domestic sciences such as cooking, sewing and woodworking should not be included in the school curricula. There are countless advantages of having craft education classes in schools, which I shall discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. First, craft education helps mold and develop children as strategic and logical thinkers. lt can only be gained from the practical application of doing something, building something and creating somethlng. lt cannot be learnt from memorizing facts from a book and regurgitating them in the exam. Secondly, craft education improves the intelligence level of students. Recent researches in neuroscience claim that there is a direct correlatlon between fine motor skills, hand eye coordination and the development of the brain. 5o, students do better in other subjects also. lt also teaches students to concentrate and focus. This helps students who have problems with sitting still and listening in class. Another very good advantage of craft education is that it takes away gender stereotypes. Both boys and girls learn how to knit and sew and cook. Both boys and girls learn how to woodwork and hammer and use power tools. They are seen as equally important skills, and not just for one gender or the other. Furthermore, through craft education students can learn maths through real life applications. They would need a lot of math when they are measuring, designing and planning their pro. iects. Craft education allows them to see how mathematics is used and applied in the real world, instead of just telling them that math is important and applicable to their lives. Finally, such classes teach students patience and perseverance. Making something, especially something worthwhile, ls often a slow and tedious process. Delayed gratification and the ability to stick with a project until the very end is an important life lesson to teach students. Advocates of having purely academic currlcula In schools, say that the number of subjects in schools is already too hlgh. They believe that parents should teach these things at home. What they fail to see is that the young parents of today are lacking these skills themselves. So, how can they teach their children what they themselves do not know? Also, if both parents are working, they don't have the time and patience to sit with the chlld and do these things. To sum up, cooking, woodworking dressmaking etc. are important subjects, which need to be incorporated at a younger aBe. Children need to see the practical applications of their education.
I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement, which says that domestic sciences such as cooking, sewing and woodworking should not
be included
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curricula. There are countless advantages of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
classes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, which I shall discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
mold and develop children as strategic and logical thinkers.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be gained


from the practical application of doing something, building something and creating
Possible spelling mistake found.
somethlng
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
cannot be

Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from memorizing facts from a book and regurgitating them in the exam.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the intelligence level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Recent researches in neuroscience claim

that there is a direct
Possible spelling mistake found.
correlatlon
between fine motor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, hand eye coordination and the development of the

brain. 5o,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do better in other subjects
also
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to concentrate and focus. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps


students who have problems with sitting
still
and listening in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is that it takes away gender stereotypes. Both boys and girls

learn how to knit and sew and cook. Both boys and girls learn how to woodwork and hammer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
power

tools. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for one gender or the other.

Furthermore
, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
through real life applications. They would need

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
math when they are measuring, designing and planning their pro.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
iects
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how mathematics is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and applied in the real world,
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
telling them that math is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important


and applicable to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Finally
, such classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
patience and perseverance. Making something,
especially
something

worthwhile, ls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a slow and tedious process. Delayed gratification and the ability to stick with a project until

the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life lesson to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
students.

Advocates of having
purely
academic
Possible spelling mistake found.
currlcula
In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, say that the number of subjects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is already

too
Possible spelling mistake found.
hlgh
. They believe that parents should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
these things at home. What they fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
is that the young

parents of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are lacking these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, how can they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their children what they themselves

do not know?
Also
, if both parents are working, they don't have the time and patience to sit with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
chlld
and

do these things.

To sum up, cooking, woodworking dressmaking etc. are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects, which need to
be incorporated
at a

younger
Possible spelling mistake found.
aBe
. Children need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the practical applications of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay Sfudenfs in school should leorn ocodemic subjecls ond poss exorns. Ofher skltls such os cookery, dressmoking ond woodwork con be leornl well from fomily ond friends. Do you ogree or disogree?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
420 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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