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Money is considered to be important for choosing a job.Do you agree or disagree

Money is considered to be important for choosing a job. Kw1KN
Money is very important for everyone life. In the contemporary world, money plays a pivotal role and becomes imperative to fullfill the basic needs. Rather than this, also other factors contribute to the success of professional employees. I completely disagree with this statement that money should always be considered while choosing a job. On the darker side, other factors like professional skills, knowledge and physical interaction are also very crucial to get a decent job. Hasan safin, for instance, became IPS officer as he gained 570 rank all over the world but he has belonged to not a rich family. Nevertheless he was a hardworker and he became successful due to his skills and knowledge. In addition to this, a good and friendly environment of the workplace also selected by the job seeker while choosing a job. On the brighter side, the positive aspects of choosing a job based on salary are given ahead. One should earn a good salary to meet the basic requirements of family. Besides this, to start some firms, incentives and investment is needed which is possible only through money and this becomes a basic necessity of every person in every aspect of their life. For instance, Harjit singh who was the hockey player belongs to a extremely poor family and at the moment he has to went for their international match in Europe and he was not having a money for his Europe ticket. He even became successful by tackling harsh conditions of his life. To sum up, money is not the only thing that makes better lifestyle but success cannot buy knowledge it is in the blood of people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone life. In the contemporary world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays a pivotal role and becomes imperative to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
the basic needs.
Rather
than this,
also
other factors contribute to the success of professional employees. I completely disagree with this statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should always
be considered
while choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. On the darker side, other factors like professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, knowledge and physical interaction are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hasan
Possible spelling mistake found.
safin
,
for instance
, became IPS officer as he gained 570 rank all over the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he has belonged to not a rich family.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
he was a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hardworker and
he became successful due to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge.
In addition
to this, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and friendly environment of the workplace
also
selected by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seeker while choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. On the brighter side, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
based on salary are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
ahead. One should earn a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the basic requirements of family.
Besides
this, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
firms, incentives and investment
is needed
which is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and this becomes a basic necessity of every person in every aspect of their life.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harjit
Possible spelling mistake found.
singh
who was the hockey player belongs to
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
extremely
poor family and at the moment he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
went for their international match in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Europe and
he was not having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for his Europe ticket. He even became successful by tackling harsh conditions of his life. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
better lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
success cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
knowledge it is in the blood of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Money is considered to be important for choosing a job.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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