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Advertisements are now targeting children. What will be the problems and what can be done ?

Advertisements are now targeting children. What will be the problems and what can be done? Ajw3M
These days, an increasing number of people are concerned about the fact that advertisement are now targeting children. The essay will first suggest that the biggest problem cause by the advetisements' target which are children is can ultimately make children defiant and distracting them from physical activities, then submit close watch on advertisement in order to make sure suitable content for children. The first main obstacle is that advertising food and drinks that have high levels of fat and sugar causes child obesity. This is due to children cannot understand the difference between healthy food and fast food, they are attracted to the colorful pictures in the advertisement which very detrimental for their health. Furthermpre, some ads show dangerous stunts. Although, it is clearly mentioned that the children should not imitate those stunts, they do not pay attention to that part and try to perfome those stunts and get hurt. For instance, there are a variety of kids who are prone to violence and fighting as character in "Tom and Jerry". Another notable problem is little children pester their parents to buy the producrs advertised on TV and social media. Children disturb their parents to buy the item but if parents cannot provide the things they want, children will being stubborn. There are a numorous of effective solutions to the problem of advertisement' target. One effective solution to deal with advertisement is for instead of consumerism, advertising could promote creativity and values such as friendship and honesty. In other words, some countries have already banned advertising targeted at young children. In addition, parents need to explain the difference between the actual and the cartoon programmes; therefore, they can know what profitable for them and what they should avoid. For instance, parents should supervise the time they spend on watching TV, properly selective advertisement and create more outside activities. In conclusion, while advertisement are targeting children is a social concern for our society, there are two ways to eliminate this, which is certainly to arise in future. Also, society must ensure steps are taken to prevent this problem from deteriorating further.
These days, an increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are concerned
about the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
targeting children.

The essay will
first
suggest that the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
cause by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
advetisements
' target which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
Consider using a past participle here: "canned".
can
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
defiant and distracting them from physical activities, then submit close
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure suitable content for children.

The
first
main obstacle is that advertising food and drinks that have high levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and sugar causes child obesity. This is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot understand the difference between healthy food and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food, they
are attracted
to the colorful pictures in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
detrimental for their health.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthermpre
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
stunts. Although, it is
clearly
mentioned that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not imitate those stunts, they do not pay attention to that part and try to
Possible spelling mistake found.
perfome
those stunts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt.
For instance
, there are a variety of kids who are prone to violence and fighting as character in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Tom and Jerry
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Another notable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
pester their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
producrs
advertised on TV and social media.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
disturb their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the item
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot provide the things they want,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will being stubborn.

There are a
Possible spelling mistake found.
numorous
of effective solutions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of advertisement' target. One effective solution to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is for
instead
of consumerism, advertising could promote creativity and values such as friendship and honesty.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have already banned advertising targeted at young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the difference between the actual and the cartoon
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
;
therefore
, they can know what profitable for them and what they should avoid.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should supervise the time they spend on watching TV,
properly
selective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and create more outside activities.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
are targeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a social concern for our society, there are two ways to eliminate this, which is
certainly
to arise
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Also
, society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure steps
are taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
from deteriorating
further
.
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IELTS essay Advertisements are now targeting children. What will be the problems and what can be done?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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