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Technology plays a vital role in scientists life. Do you agree or disagree?

Technology plays a vital role in scientists life. ljL7D
It is seen by many people that young generation is spending a plethora of time and money on the latest fashion such as clothing and advanced techonology. I completely agree and believe that because of an influence of the advertisements and trend to follow celebraties would be the reasons behind it. Firstly, having advertisements on latest fashion usually make a great impact on young people. In addition, people, nowadays, watch many adverse on the television and social media which influence them to purchase unwanted things. By doing this, young generation not only waste their valuable time, but also expense a good amount of money which they are not aware of. For example, if teenagers see 'Holister' branded tishirt on instagram while scrolling up, they would immediatly visit to the website and order it without even considering a price tag. Secondly, fashion trends have become more common nowadays among young people by using the online applications for shopping. Moreover, teenagers usually do e shopping from their smart devices and waste a lot of time and money. Generally, it is believed that women follows the celebraties from the television shows which prompt to make them a bill of expensive cosmetic products to look smart and gorgeous like them. Finally, young people also spend a lot of money to be a first person to purchase a latest device not for in the technical terms, but to show off in the society. Furthermore, young people often buy advanced techological devices to compare with their friends. In the Western countries, for instance, having a latest apple device is very innate among the teenagers and also sometimes they pester their parents to purchase advanced devices which are not affortable and usable at this age. In conclusion, it is irrefutable to say that young people consume more money and invest their quality time on the latest fashion.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is spending a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
such as clothing and advanced
Possible spelling mistake found.
techonology
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an influence of the advertisements and trend to follow
Possible spelling mistake found.
celebraties
would be the reasons behind it.

Firstly
, having advertisements on latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adverse on the television and social media which influence them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unwanted things. By doing this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
waste their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
expense a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which they are not aware of.
For example
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
'
Possible spelling mistake found.
Holister
' branded
Possible spelling mistake found.
tishirt
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
while scrolling up, they would
Possible spelling mistake found.
immediatly
visit to the website and order it without even considering a price tag.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
trends have become more common nowadays among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by using the online applications for shopping.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
usually
do e shopping from their smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
and waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Generally
, it
is believed
that women follows the
Possible spelling mistake found.
celebraties
from the television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which prompt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a bill of expensive cosmetic products to look smart and gorgeous like them.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to be a
first
person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
not for in the technical terms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off in the society.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
advanced
Possible spelling mistake found.
techological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to compare with their friends. In the Western countries,
for instance
, having
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
latest
Did you mean the proper noun "Apple" (= technology company)?
apple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
innate among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they pester their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
which are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
affortable
and usable at this age.

In conclusion
, it is irrefutable to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and invest their quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
.
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IELTS essay Technology plays a vital role in scientists life.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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