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Advertisement has good and bad side. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Advertisement has good and bad side. PrGaJ

Having 20 years expertise in hospitality industry own holiday club is a burgeoning and prominent Indian brand. Founded in 2012 as Rigel Hospitality Services Private Limited, it is a one-stop solution for your whole event planning. We are focused on designing travel experiences, personalizing events and holidays to suit your needs. Own Holiday club has a clear-cut understanding about how customers plan for an entertaining trip for months, therefore, making their accommodations special in various hotels, resorts and clubs is our prior mission. We endeavor to deliver only the highest quality service to over local and overseas guests as well. Hi guys, Is this text okay? ?

Having 20 years expertise in hospitality industry This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
 holiday club is a burgeoning and prominent Indian brand. Founded in 2012 as Rigel Hospitality Services Private Limited, it is a one-This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :terminateceasediscontinue
stop
 solution for your whole This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :occasionhappening
event
 planning. We are focused
 on designing travel experiences, personalizing This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :occasionshappenings
events
 and holidays to suit your needs. This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
Own
 Holiday club has a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
-This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :minimize
cut
 understanding about how customers plan for an entertaining trip for months, therefore
, making their accommodations special in various hotels, resorts and clubs is our prior mission. We endeavor to deliver This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 the highest quality service to over local and overseas guests as well
.

Hi guys, Is this text okay? ? 

IELTS essay Advertisement has good and bad side.

Essay

American English

2 paragraphs

107 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Labels Descriptions

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