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How did yo avoid the challenging position in your life

How did yo avoid the challenging position in your life k5kAK
Life includes happiness, sadness, barriers troubles and many problems. Everyone undergoes problems there would not be any exception. I am the person who had to fight against feelings. This was somewhat tough for a painfully shy girl. I did not use to come out of my shell and loved being alone. Low self esteem always made me emotional wreck. I was not interested in studying, making news, a little peace was enough for me. It was very boring to live. Fortunately, one day my mother offered me to attend English course and I went there unwillingly. However, my first result of test was the highest mark in the class. I was increasingly surprised because I had never learn anyting about English. I was blissfully happy with that. From that time I began to believe myself. I realized I could reach anything I wanted if I tried. My horizon was broadened. I never stop to thank my parents and my teacher for my achievements.
Life includes happiness, sadness, barriers troubles and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems. Everyone undergoes problems there would not be any exception.

I am the person who had to fight against feelings. This was somewhat tough for a
painfully
shy girl. I did not
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of my shell and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
being alone. Low
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
always made me emotional wreck. I was not interested in studying, making news, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
peace was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for me. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
boring to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Fortunately
, one day my mother offered me to attend English course and I went there
unwillingly
.
However
, my
first
result of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
was the highest mark in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. I was
increasingly
surprised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I had never
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
Possible spelling mistake found.
anyting
about English. I was
blissfully
happy with that. From that time I began to believe myself. I realized I could reach anything I wanted if I tried. My horizon
was broadened
. I never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to thank my parents and my teacher for my achievements.

IELTS essay How did yo avoid the challenging position in your life

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
163 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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