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Advertisement aimed to children should be banned .To what extend do u agree or disagree?

Advertisement aimed to children should be banned. rLN5l
Advertisement has taken support of media to grow and now it is one of the leading industry. As advertisement that are targeted to childrens must be banned. I partially agree with the writers notion and reasons for my opinion are articulated in up-coming paragraphs. To start with, advertisement creates bad impact on childrens and lead to bad habits. Advertisements on product such as alcohol, smoking gizmos and few that contain sexual content leads to bad thing for a child and may ruin his future doing such bad habits. Although secondly advertisement create unnecessary demands which their parent can not afford. To site an example advertisement on toys, expensive phones and cloths, as they do have things but due to attractive looks they become stubborn and at any cost they demand for them but this demands are out of their capacity as they dont have higher income. On the contrary, advertisements do have good impact too. In this digital native world advertisement plays a vital role where it makes awareness among childrens and keep them up-to-date with new useful products. To exemplify, advertisements on study applications, new researches and trend do have good impact on childrens and do not make unnecessary demand that ones parents can afford. In a nutshell, to conclude that advertisement play a crucial role in everyone life but when its is made for children it should have few limits on it. "A good advertisement is one which sells the products without drawing attention to itself". Also, a child should not have to make a regardless demands.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
has taken support of media to grow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is one of the leading industry.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
that
are targeted
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be banned
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the writers notion and reasons for my opinion
are articulated
in up-coming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
and lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
on product such as alcohol, smoking gizmos and few that contain sexual content leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
thing for a child and may ruin his future doing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
secondly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
create unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
which their parent can not afford. To site an example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on toys, expensive phones and cloths, as they do have things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to attractive looks they become stubborn and at any cost they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
are out of their capacity as they
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
have higher income.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
do have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact too. In this digital native world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
plays a vital role where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
awareness among
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them up-to-date with new useful products. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on study applications, new researches and trend do have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
that ones parents can afford.

In a nutshell,
to conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
play a crucial role in everyone life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when its
is made
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
it should have few limits on it.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is one which sells the products without drawing attention to itself
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Also
, a child should not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a regardless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
.
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IELTS essay Advertisement aimed to children should be banned.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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