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advantages and disadvanyages of moving to big cities

advantages and disadvanyages of moving to big cities RyL68
Nowadays, due to the industrialization on all over the world, the number of people moving to big cities has significantly increased. For many people, especially the young, living to a big city is a chance for them to broaden their future or to chase their dream. However, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this. In this essay, i will discuss some of the reasons why living in the big cities is so popular and some of the challenges to be overcome. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of living in a large city. One of the main positives of staying in a big city is that it is very convenient. What I mean by this is that since the city is often very modern, it can meet all your need from many kinds of transportation to any electricity furniture, which will make your life become sufficient and comfortable. Secondly, living in a big city give you higher education. For instance, there as well as universities, colleges as well as schools in here than small town or the countryside. By this, you can have better qualification and degrees which is a benefit for your future. Moreover, the big cities offer you more job opportunities, so you have less unemployment rate and you can even have a good career. What is more is that you can see the lively and busy nightlife in the city with the exquisite, gorgeous lights from high buildings which makes it more excited to live in here than in the countryside. Turning to the other side of the argument, environmental pollution is a major problem. As there are many kinds of pollution in the large cities including air, noise, visual, water pollution and many more. For instance, there are many means of transport and traffic jam which are the main reason for air pollution. Also, with wastes as well as sewage from factories to water bodies, water pollution is unavoidable and so on. These often lead to various of health problems you can suffer such as cancer or heart diseases, which can be very hazardous for children and the elderly. Another issue is that the pressure of living in a large city. In other words, everything in the city is more expensive than in the small town so that there will be lots of financial problems which can make you feel stress and in some cases depression. This problem takes time and can be especially challenging to deal with it for the first time. All things considered, statying life in a big city is never easy. You need to weigh up the pros of the more job opportunities, better education and the convenience versus the cons of polluted environment, health decrease as well as the pressure. Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of personally growth eventually outweigh its drawbacks.
Nowadays, due to the industrialization on all over the world, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has
significantly
increased. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
the young,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city is a chance for them to broaden their future or to chase their dream.
However
, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this. In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
challenges to
be overcome
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a large city. One of the main positives of staying in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city is that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient. What I mean by this is that since the city is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
modern, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all your need from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of transportation to any electricity furniture, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your life become sufficient and comfortable.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city give you higher education.
For instance
, there as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as universities, colleges as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as schools in here than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town or the countryside. By this, you can have better qualification and degrees which is a benefit for your future.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
offer you more job opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you have less unemployment rate and you can even have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career.
What is more
is that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the lively and busy nightlife in the city with the exquisite, gorgeous lights from high buildings which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more excited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in here than in the countryside.

Turning to the other side of the argument, environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. As there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
including air, noise, visual, water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
means of transport and traffic jam which are the main reason for air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Also
, with wastes as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as sewage from factories to water bodies, water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is unavoidable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lead to various of health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
you can suffer such as cancer or heart diseases, which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hazardous for children and the elderly. Another issue is that the pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a large city.
In other words
, everything in the city is more expensive than in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there will be lots of financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "cases'" or "case's"?
cases
depression. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
takes time and can be
especially
challenging
Did you mean "dealing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to deal
with it for the
first
time.

All things considered,
Possible spelling mistake found.
statying
life in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city is never easy. You need to weigh up the pros of the more job opportunities, better education and the convenience versus the cons of polluted environment, health decrease as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the pressure.
Personally
, I believe the benefits in terms of
personally
growth
eventually
outweigh its drawbacks.
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IELTS essay advantages and disadvanyages of moving to big cities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
478 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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