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doing sports alone or together is better?

doing sports alone or together is better? EqJDD
People hold different views about whether playing with a group or doing sports solely is better. It is my belief that playing with other group members has more benefits than playing alone. On the one hand, it is argued that by doing sports alone athletes can be independent as they do not need to schedule their time dependent on others. It is irrefutable that some lazy people break the chain and can not persist in voracious workouts when they face hardships. Secondly, working on his own enables one to work on his or her weaknesses more and strengthen them. People engaging in sports can set a goal according to their real power and manage it by working at their own pace. On the other hand, collaboration and having a role in a team have a positive impact on the formation of personality. Playing with a group and sharing a common goal may instil self-confidence and responsibility into players. It is irrefutable that a common goal fosters morale and enables them to pool and tap into their diverse skills in order to achieve it. In turn, being valued by others fulfil people with a sense of validation. Additionally, enthusiastic sportsmen are seen as role models consequently they can exert a great influence on others. Being surrounded by passionate players makes one get out of the comfort zone, strengthen abilities, and create his or her best version. In conclusion, although it is claimed by some that to do sports alone is preferable due to not being distracted, I agree with those who think that group work has not only physical but also psychological effects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
or doing
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sports
solely
is better. It is my belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
members has more benefits than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
alone.

On the one hand, it
is argued
that by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
alone athletes can be independent as they do not need to schedule their time dependent on others. It is irrefutable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lazy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
break the chain and can not persist in voracious workouts when they face hardships.
Secondly
, working on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
enables one to work on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
weaknesses more and strengthen them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can set a goal according to their real power and manage it by working at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, collaboration and having a role in a team have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the formation of personality.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and sharing a common goal may
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
self-confidence and responsibility into players. It is irrefutable that a common goal fosters morale and enables them to pool and tap into their diverse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in order to achieve it. In turn,
being valued
by others fulfil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a sense of validation.
Additionally
, enthusiastic sportsmen are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as role models
consequently
they can exert a great influence on others.
Being surrounded
by passionate players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of the comfort zone, strengthen abilities, and create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
best version.

In conclusion
, although it
is claimed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
alone is preferable due to not
being distracted
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
work has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
psychological effects.

IELTS essay doing sports alone or together is better?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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