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Advantages and disadvantages of doing sports.

Advantages and disadvantages of doing sports. WglkW
Well, everyone wants to maintain a perfect health and keep the body fit. However, everything all connects two faces: benefits and drawbacks go together. You know, playing sports brings human uncountable benefits in both physical and mental angle. By doing exercises, people can improve their physical fitness, and build a firm body. First of all, Regular exercise improves the health of the whole cardiovascular system and has been shown to lower cholesterol. In other words, A healthier heart means reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, stroke, and diabetes. Furthermore, exercise can be considered as a way to keep an attractive body. If we exert ourselves and burn excess calories, not only the risk of obesity will be reduced nut also we can stay in shape and manage our weight. Besides the obvious physical benefits, there are a host of psychological benefits that can manifest from participation in sports. Sports teach us how to deal with difficult situations with confidence and integrity. They teach us to push through obstacles and to never give up no matter how challenging the circumstances. These are invaluable life skills that are essential in almost every professional field and avenue. When we exercise, our body releases endorphins which are hormones that help us feel good. This naturally reduces symptoms of depression and stress that a lot of us experience especially nowadays with social media and the internet. However, playing sports and taking physical exercises could have several downsides which should be considered. From the safety perspective, anyone engaging in an extreme sport must take sensible precautions and seek expert advice. For example, Paragliding and cliff-jumping are two examples of extreme sports in which life-threatening injuries are sustained all too often by those who take part. In order to reduce the risks associated with dangerous sports, participants should undergo rigorous training and use all the essential sports gear required. In addition, the problem with encouraging sport at school is that it fosters a competitive spirit among students, instead of teaching children simply to do the best that they can in all aspects of life. Also, youth sport is being ruined by a win-at-all-costs attitude, which includes cheating and breaking the rules in order to achieve victory. In conclusion, although playing sports and taking regular exercise bring numerous advantages, people should be aware of its disadvantages and take the appropriate methods.
Well, everyone wants to maintain a perfect health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
fit.
However
, everything all connects two faces:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and drawbacks go together. You know, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
brings human uncountable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental angle.

By doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness, and build a firm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the health of the whole cardiovascular system and has
been shown
to lower cholesterol.
In other words
, A healthier heart means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of cardiovascular disease, stroke, and diabetes.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
can
be considered
as a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
. If we exert ourselves and burn excess calories, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of obesity will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
Did you mean "not"?
nut
also
we can stay in shape and manage our weight.

Besides
the obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "hosts"?
host
of psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
that can manifest from participation in sports.

Sports teach us how to deal with difficult situations with confidence and integrity. They teach us to push through obstacles and to never give up no matter how challenging the circumstances. These are invaluable life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that are essential in almost every professional field and avenue.

When we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
releases endorphins which are hormones that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. This
naturally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
symptoms of depression and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
us experience
especially
nowadays with social media and the internet.

However
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
could have several downsides which should
be considered
. From the safety perspective, anyone engaging in an extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take sensible precautions and seek expert advice.
For example
, Paragliding and cliff-jumping are two examples of extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in which life-threatening injuries
are sustained
all too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
by those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
associated with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, participants should undergo rigorous training and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all the essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
gear required.

In addition
, the problem with encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
at school is that it fosters a competitive spirit among students,
instead
of teaching children
simply
to do the best that they can in all aspects of life.
Also
, youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
being ruined
by a win-at-all-costs attitude, which includes cheating and breaking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in order to achieve victory.

In conclusion
, although playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and taking regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
bring numerous advantages,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be aware of its disadvantages and take the appropriate methods.
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IELTS essay Advantages and disadvantages of doing sports.

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
392 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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