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Why is this the case and what can be done about it?

Why is this the case and what can be done about it? BL8Dj
Recent technological advancements and developments have changed our lives for the better. However, the case in the farming industry has been a bit different. Even though agriculture is quite advanced today and there are no shortages of food supplies, a lot of people still die from starvation. Why is this happening and what can governments do about it? To begin with, it's no secret that in order to buy food, an individual needs to have money as there is no such thing as a 'free meal'. Every country is different and no two economies are the same. Obviously, there are some nations that flourish in terms of economic growth and social welfare. This is because average salaries are higher and overall job and career prospects are a lot better there. Thus, citizens in those countries find it easier to purchase all the necessary goods such as food, healthcare, and accommodation. However, the same cannot be said for the people living in poorer and third-world countries such as Africa and India. Usually, in these kinds of nations, the labor is cheap, wages are ridiculous, and proper education is mostly reserved for the wealthy. Living in such conditions means that most of the population will be poor and, therefore, unable to purchase adequate food supplies. Most would agree on the fact that something needs to be done to deal with the issue of poverty and starvation. The financial problems that these individuals are facing, can be resolved if nations dealt with social inequality. The amount of money a person has is linked to the number of goods he has access to. The less financially stable you are, the less access you have to goods that are necessary to fulfill your needs, such as food, accommodation, and healthcare. Hence, to improve your financial status, you need to have a lot of job opportunities and these are more abundantly available in nations that are more developed and economically powerful, such as the US. This can be achieved when such countries ease their entry restrictions to foreigners. For instance, they can improve their immigration policies and authorize more visas. Consequently, people from these poorer countries will be able to immigrate and improve their financial situation. Taking everything into consideration, the issue of starvation is mostly due to different income distributions among nations. In order to deal with this, citizens of third-world countries should be given more job opportunities in countries that are economically flourishing.
Recent technological advancements and developments have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for the better.
However
, the case in the farming industry has been a bit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
Even though
agriculture is quite advanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and there are no shortages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supplies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
from starvation. Why is this happening and what can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do about it?

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it's no secret that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to have money as there is no such thing as a 'free meal'. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and no two economies are the same.
Obviously
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
that flourish in terms of economic growth and social welfare. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
average salaries are higher and
overall
job and career prospects are a lot better there.
Thus
, citizens in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
find it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
all the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, healthcare, and accommodation.
However
, the same cannot
be said
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in poorer and third-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Africa and India.
Usually
, in these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, the labor is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
, wages are ridiculous, and proper education is
mostly
reserved for the wealthy. Living in such conditions means that most of the population will be poor and,
therefore
, unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supplies.

Most would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on the fact that something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be done
to deal with the issue of poverty and starvation. The financial problems that these individuals are facing, can
be resolved
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
dealt with social inequality. The amount of money a person has
is linked
to the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
he has access to.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
less
financially
stable you are, the less access you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that are necessary to fulfill your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, accommodation, and healthcare.
Hence
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your financial status, you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
job opportunities and these are more
abundantly
available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
that are more developed and
economically
powerful, such as the US. This can
be achieved
when such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their entry restrictions to foreigners.
For instance
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their immigration policies and authorize more visas.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from these poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will be able to immigrate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their financial situation.

Taking everything into consideration, the issue of starvation is
mostly
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
income distributions among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. In order to deal with this, citizens of third-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more job opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that are
economically
flourishing.
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IELTS essay Why is this the case and what can be done about it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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